daozhangs | ic inbox, ryslig.

No, I have not. I suppose that is one way to express emotion over this bothersome network. Are there only the two?

I can. Though if you know of the tree house that Jiang Wanyin lives in, it will be even easier. My home is not far from there, and it would be better if I lead you through the forest.

I don't see why there wouldn't be more, but I haven't yet learned them.

I have not yet paid his home a visit, but I can certainly bother him for directions to find it if that would be easiest. When shall I be there?

There is no need, I can give you the directions. You will need to take the road that leads south out of Bavan and...

[He goes in further to explain how to get to the treehouse.]

I can meet you there in a couple hours. Though how will I recognize you?

Thank you, that's very helpful. I should be able to find it easily enough.

As for identification, my robes are white. Such a thing seems fairly uncommon here.

You would be right. I shall see you then.

[And true to his word, one nymph Jedi, wearing a purple robe that Jiang Cheng gave him, will be waiting for Xiao Xingchen just before the treehouse that their mutual friend lives in.]

( the man who appears down the road is indeed dressed in white robes, though he failed to mention the soft white bandaging tied across his eyes. his steps are confident but measured, the movements of a man navigating carefully by sound and touch but without letting it properly slow him.

he has yet to recognize that the man he seeks is here - obi-wan's robe (or at least its color) would most certainly be of note, were xingchen able to see such a thing. between offering his given name of 'jiang cheng' to daryl and the gifting of sect robes, it would lend even more evidence to the notion that jiang wanyin has found more camaraderie here in this realm than in his many years leading yunmeng jiang sect thus far. but alas, that detail slips past him.

upon hearing any sign of a human being, a smile curls xingchen's lips and he greets, ) Pardon me, I'm seeking a man named Obi-Wan Kenobi?

[Those white robes are indeed hard to miss, and Obi-Wan perks up when he sees the man coming his way. Though there is an odd detail about him that gives the Jedi pause, namely that bandage that’s covering his eyes. He stood there quietly, observing, and judging by the careful movements the man takes, he can only deduce that Xiao Xingchen can’t see. Or at least not very well.]

That would be me, my friend. It’s a pleasure to meet you, though I confess I’m not quite the man I used to be.

[Despite this revelation regarding Xingchen’s sight, Obi-Wan is cordial and polite. Yet at the same time glad that he is here to guide this fellow as he could have very easily gotten lost in the forest.]

( the smile broadens, and while he doesn't sweep into the formal circle-armed bow that much of the cultivation world is so fond of, his head does dip respectfully in greeting. )

How opportune, ( he says, ) It's good to finally meet you face-to-face. I'll admit, I've been thinking about this tea blend of yours ever since you mentioned it.

( all the while, he closes the remaining distance to step up beside the man - though not quite close enough to imply he needs led by the elbow, he has long since learned about that particular misstep. with a slight tilt of his head, ) Lead the way?

[ Well, thing is that he hadn't thought that far, so he hesitates and remains silent while he mulls over that, just watching Xiao Xingchen work on preparing their tea. ]

I don't think copies would be much help, since they would have to be kept updated along with the original. And it would be far too much work. I also don't think there is a list or any kind of formalized alliance of those who stand against the Fog... at least not anymore. No, I think it might be easier if you keep the records, and permitted others to read them, in exchange for contributing their own information.

[ Jiang Cheng isn't quick to call anyone a friend but he is certainly quickly on the way to it with Xiao Xingchen. Right now, he's not sure if that makes it better or even worse that someone he respects so much knows of his shame. ]

It wasn't simply a mistake. It was weakness. Failure. I gave in to this curse. I let it defeat me.

And other people paid the price for my weakness.

Did it feel like that, at the time? Like you were allowing it to take over?

Forgive my presumption, but I doubt that very much. I don't think that it left you something so merciful as a choice, because I don't think such a thing would have been able to defeat you face-to-face.

That doesn't make it better. One might even call it worse, to fight against something that ultimately leaves you unable to think to stop it - but it does mean that this wasn't a battle of strength or will that you've lost. It means that this... monstrosity, it's trickery, not combat.

It means we'll have to prepare much differently than we have been. We'll have to assume that it will take us, somehow and somewhere, and establish precautions to keep from doing anyone harm in the process.

Do you understand?

[ He's silent for a good long while because he tries to remember what exactly had happened, how he had felt, how much control he had had.

It's all hazy now, tainted by the hunger that had overtaken every other thought until it all became meaningless but... ]

It was no choice.

I didn't choose to give in. I wouldn't. I can handle hunger and pain.
I have withstood worse torture. But I couldn't control it. I couldn't think. I couldn't even control the cables anymore. Or maybe I couldn't control myself. Maybe I wanted it then. I don't know. But I didn't choose.

They were just there. Just at the wrong time in the wrong place. They didn't do anything wrong.

( no, they didn't do anything wrong. they were certainly scared - perhaps some even tried to kowtow for mercy, or beg for the lives of their children or -

no. death by electrocution is far too quick for any of that. killing those who kowtowed and begged, those weren't jiang cheng's sins - they were his own. they were his, and things are starting to bleed together where they shouldn't,

and xingchen's own answer is a good long while in coming as well. he's sat down on the floor for a minute to breathe, deep and clear, until the sudden dizziness fades and he can consider the situation again with clarity. but he doesn't stand back up, instead reaching up to claim his laptop from the table and bring it down to the floor with him. he has been pacing throughout this conversation, an uncharacteristic restlessness, a buzzing frustration at his impotence, but he isn't restless anymore. )

You held your tongue, at the time.

Ask me now why I'm no longer a daozhang.

[ The worst thing is, right now Jiang Cheng can't even remember if they had begged, or if they had, what they had said.

There had been three, a couple and a child no older than Gosalyn, talking carefree, nicely dressed, returning late from some festivity maybe? All he has are flashes. The electric sparks from his feeding cables reflected in their terrified eyes. Screams. The way they had hunched together as he cornered them and drove them deeper into that dead-end alley, the adults trying to place themselves in front of the child...

He remembers that the moment his feeding cables sank into the man's body and he began draining his energy, for the length of that dizzying height he believed that his own body was feeling more right than it ever had since his golden core was crushed.]

Then tell me.

Tell me what could possibly compare.

It's good to meet you as well.

[He then paused as Xingchen suggested that he lead the way, unsure if he should physically do so or not.]

Forgive me friend, but I did not realize that your vision is impaired. The forest can be dense, and I would not want you to trip. If it would help, I can offer you my arm.

[It was an option that Xingchen could take or leave. He honestly didn't know how the man managed to find his way here as it was, so he didn't want to assume he was completely incapable. Either way, Obi-Wan would extend his arm to the man, allowing him to take it if he wished.]

I murdered Song Zichen, and I'm not even positive which kill was him.

( the answer comes far too quickly this time, no hesitation, no moment of bracing. )

He lingers, lifeless and puppeted, under Xue Yang's control.

( under xue yang's control, where he would surely be used to kill again and again. at the time, xingchen hadn't quite realized what a coward he'd been not to at the very least take the time to destroy zichen's corpse before he ended his own life. )

But that was Xue Yang!

He dressed up as you.

[ It can't be. It can't have been Xiao Xingchen, who is kind and good, even if he had been terribly, cruelly tricked into being a villain's executioner. Certainly, he should have somehow known when he was killing a friend? ]

( he did what.

there are so many wholly rational responses to that - like 'would that not have occurred after my death? how, then, would i know of it?' - but xingchen doesn't entirely have it in him to prove that he murdered his closest companion, so he simply says. )

It was me.

Xue Yang has killed far, far too many in his life, but he did not kill Zichen.

Then he made you.

[ No hesitation there. No, he'd had his moment of doubt but he knows Xiao Xingchen. He may not know himself but he knows others still ~~except for Jin Guangyao and maybe the man he had once considered a brother.~~. But in this, he is certain. ]

You wouldn't have done it out of your own free will.

You asked me what could possibly compare.

( jiang wanyin would not have killed of his own free will, either. )

[ Long silence. ]

I don't know what to say.

Say that you'll trust in your own good nature as strongly as you trust in mine.

You don't get to absolve me and not yourself. I won't allow it.

I can't. I have more trust in your nature than in mine.

I understand.

( truly, he does. it doesn't change anything - he still won't allow it, this arbitrary judgment of who is or isn't at fault for what they've done - but jiang wanyin is doing all that he can, given the circumstances. )

I could perform their rites, if you'd like. ( whether or not such a thing means anything here. ) Or we could, together.

I would like that. I would be grateful. I don't know if it would make a difference to them but I feel like I owe it to them to at least try.

ic inbox, ryslig.

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