( though he was only just considering it, runyu having grown quite accustomed to the absence of goodness, hearing 'it was a rare occurrence for me to have company' still makes xingchen ache just the slightest bit. he himself has spent much of his life unaccompanied - even when working in tandem with zichen, they were apart nearly as often as they traveled together - but it was never quite the same sort of alone. it wasn't the sort of alone in which one can be surrounded by people but know that none wish to be around them. he can't quite imagine how that might feel.. the closest xingchen has ever come to that was the time just after zichen decided it best that they part ways, when he stumbled back down the mountain into a world which had no interest in associating with one they saw as 'crippled' lest they be trapped by responsibility for his care. he needed no care, but that was hardly the point, and even that much can't possibly compare to a lifetime of it.
then comes the part about discarding most of what few activities gave more purpose to the daily and routine, and runyu might catch a flicker of xingchen's brow at 'music belonged to xufeng' because how can music belong to a person? that's ridiculous. he takes another drink of his cider now (perhaps to occupy his mouth so he doesn't interrupt to say as much) and listens on, about woodworking and night-time walks and a game which runyu only refers to as 'go' - a game used to humiliate him, apparently.
and perhaps he has finally reached a bit of a breaking point on the matter, or perhaps the spirits have simply begun to affect him at least a little bit, because the care which it takes to reply to such a thing tactfully seems senseless right at this moment. ) Runyu, my friend, ( he says, quite definitively, ) the life which you've lived offends me. ( and if his tone is any indication, he means it offends him on runyu's behalf. in runyu's defense, perhaps.
and while it may have simply been an ambient declaration when he said it, it seems to congeal into something far more actionable, or at least something he intends to make actionable. he drains the rest of the mug now just as definitively as his words, then sets it aside for now to straighten up a bit in his seat, both hands settling on the edge of the table as if intending to stand but with no actual follow-through. ) The shop which sells my paint has plenty in more reasonable colors, so I'll fetch some of those next time I'm in Bavan - and perhaps some canvas? And you should perhaps describe this game of 'Go' to me, so that I might pick that up as well if I happen upon it. I'll be quite terrible at it, so there's no chance of humiliation there.
( and perhaps he should stop there, but he has too much momentum by now, so - ) And I'm terribly sorry to disappoint those within your realm, but music can't belong to a person. That simply isn't how such things work. That's like saying color belongs to a person, or that someone claims possession over a spring breeze. It's nonsense. Now, had they allowed you to enjoy music, ( or anything else it seems, ) was there an instrument you might have favored? Or do you prefer song?
no subject
then comes the part about discarding most of what few activities gave more purpose to the daily and routine, and runyu might catch a flicker of xingchen's brow at 'music belonged to xufeng' because how can music belong to a person? that's ridiculous. he takes another drink of his cider now (perhaps to occupy his mouth so he doesn't interrupt to say as much) and listens on, about woodworking and night-time walks and a game which runyu only refers to as 'go' - a game used to humiliate him, apparently.
and perhaps he has finally reached a bit of a breaking point on the matter, or perhaps the spirits have simply begun to affect him at least a little bit, because the care which it takes to reply to such a thing tactfully seems senseless right at this moment. ) Runyu, my friend, ( he says, quite definitively, ) the life which you've lived offends me. ( and if his tone is any indication, he means it offends him on runyu's behalf. in runyu's defense, perhaps.
and while it may have simply been an ambient declaration when he said it, it seems to congeal into something far more actionable, or at least something he intends to make actionable. he drains the rest of the mug now just as definitively as his words, then sets it aside for now to straighten up a bit in his seat, both hands settling on the edge of the table as if intending to stand but with no actual follow-through. ) The shop which sells my paint has plenty in more reasonable colors, so I'll fetch some of those next time I'm in Bavan - and perhaps some canvas? And you should perhaps describe this game of 'Go' to me, so that I might pick that up as well if I happen upon it. I'll be quite terrible at it, so there's no chance of humiliation there.
( and perhaps he should stop there, but he has too much momentum by now, so - ) And I'm terribly sorry to disappoint those within your realm, but music can't belong to a person. That simply isn't how such things work. That's like saying color belongs to a person, or that someone claims possession over a spring breeze. It's nonsense. Now, had they allowed you to enjoy music, ( or anything else it seems, ) was there an instrument you might have favored? Or do you prefer song?