[ When pain subsides and he uncurls from his fetal position to find a figure standing before him on the other side of the room, Runyu’s mind fills with fatalistic thoughts. Turning his head away, his hands clench into fists. He's not ready to walk with another ghost from his past. The hollow emptiness left in the wake of his scars still swallow him up. ]
( A voice, all too familiar, calls over, the temperance in the tone stalling Runyu's panic.) Runyu, it’s alright.
[ Runyu’s head snaps upwards, eyes narrowed as fear turns to brooding suspicion.
However, a figure in blue robes only smiles and bows to him, his hair tied back with a simple white tie and a plum branch hairpin the emperor had almost forgotten. And when he rises, the figure’s eyes shine with warmth and patience.
Runyu stares, swallowing thickly, at the man — at the Night Immortal who has not allowed the darkness of immortality in to darken the soul that always watched the stars. ]
———
[ Runyu can not ignore this version of himself, nor can he bring himself to engage with him directly. Fortunately, that doesn’t seem to bother his doppleganger. In fact, after explaining that he will do Runyu no harm as long as he exists with him, the other version, Li (as they’ve agreed to call him) turns to exit their room.
Runyu dashes out after Li the moment he’s no longer in his sight, only able to hesitate for a moment before following. An awful pit of dread coils in his stomach, fearing the end even as the warm beginning unfolds before him. Still caught in the terror and suspicion that the darkness brought back into him after another glimpse of war.
Runyu doesn’t get far though. He’s rooted to the spot, to his bedroom’s threshold, when the doppleganger — when Li embraces Xingchen as he’s exiting his own room. Although, it is the words that echo in their small cabin that leave Runyu speechless. ]
I know I don’t make it easy for you, dear friend, but I don’t know how I could have adapted to life again without you.
[ Runyu takes a step back so he may listen but he’s separate. It’s a simple thing, blending in with his light green robes.
Those words are the fervent praises Runyu’s longed to give voice to for his friend but has yet been able to completely set free from the confines of his nightmares. The ability to say so much without worrying that he’s gone too far or will never be able to unsay them again — to embrace life in all its shades and let the silver lining shine through — is one he no longer possesses.
After the anguish from November, he acknowledges this. He understands that he may wish to breathe easier around Xingchen but there are still chains holding him back. He’s not yet at rest.
He reaches for the necklace and wonders if such a blessing would have been necessary. Would his double, Li, wear it as well? Perhaps, with his weakness, Runyu covets the necklace all the more, selfishly wishing that Li does not. ]
Unspoken Words from the Heart -- Backdated to January 16 (Doppleganger Event)
[ When pain subsides and he uncurls from his fetal position to find a figure standing before him on the other side of the room, Runyu’s mind fills with fatalistic thoughts. Turning his head away, his hands clench into fists. He's not ready to walk with another ghost from his past. The hollow emptiness left in the wake of his scars still swallow him up. ]
( A voice, all too familiar, calls over, the temperance in the tone stalling Runyu's panic.) Runyu, it’s alright.
[ Runyu’s head snaps upwards, eyes narrowed as fear turns to brooding suspicion.
However, a figure in blue robes only smiles and bows to him, his hair tied back with a simple white tie and a plum branch hairpin the emperor had almost forgotten. And when he rises, the figure’s eyes shine with warmth and patience.
Runyu stares, swallowing thickly, at the man — at the Night Immortal who has not allowed the darkness of immortality in to darken the soul that always watched the stars. ]
———
[ Runyu can not ignore this version of himself, nor can he bring himself to engage with him directly. Fortunately, that doesn’t seem to bother his doppleganger. In fact, after explaining that he will do Runyu no harm as long as he exists with him, the other version, Li (as they’ve agreed to call him) turns to exit their room.
Runyu dashes out after Li the moment he’s no longer in his sight, only able to hesitate for a moment before following. An awful pit of dread coils in his stomach, fearing the end even as the warm beginning unfolds before him. Still caught in the terror and suspicion that the darkness brought back into him after another glimpse of war.
Runyu doesn’t get far though. He’s rooted to the spot, to his bedroom’s threshold, when the doppleganger — when Li embraces Xingchen as he’s exiting his own room. Although, it is the words that echo in their small cabin that leave Runyu speechless. ]
I know I don’t make it easy for you, dear friend, but I don’t know how I could have adapted to life again without you.
[ Runyu takes a step back so he may listen but he’s separate. It’s a simple thing, blending in with his light green robes.
Those words are the fervent praises Runyu’s longed to give voice to for his friend but has yet been able to completely set free from the confines of his nightmares. The ability to say so much without worrying that he’s gone too far or will never be able to unsay them again — to embrace life in all its shades and let the silver lining shine through — is one he no longer possesses.
After the anguish from November, he acknowledges this. He understands that he may wish to breathe easier around Xingchen but there are still chains holding him back. He’s not yet at rest.
He reaches for the necklace and wonders if such a blessing would have been necessary. Would his double, Li, wear it as well? Perhaps, with his weakness, Runyu covets the necklace all the more, selfishly wishing that Li does not. ]