daozhangs | ic inbox, ryslig.

( though he can't see the waggling finger, runyu's tone conveys the same sentiment quite clearly. his words, meanwhile, have xingchen's smile spreading into an amused little grin, because - ) You know, I think you've just talked me back out of it.

( he hasn't, not really, but he should know how fantastically tempting it is once it's put quite like that. )

[ The smile keys Runyu in on the truth that Runyu's little slip hasn't offended Xingchen and Runyu exhales a bit, barely realizing how badly that could have been taken. How drastic a stumble that could be. Mercifully, Xingchen hasn't taken it as an insult.

Runyu sits at the table and set his head on his arms with a little smile.

If I am going to be honest with you, dear friend, the worst you'll probably hear from me is a snore. I tend to sleep at the table in those rare moments.

[ There is a subconscious lilt, nearly an inquiry in his last words, as if wishing that something isn't as fleeting in his current company. Is it the freedom to drop all defenses and pass away in fellowship or something more simple here? To continue joking like this without any walls between them? ]

( though by now he has grown somewhat attuned to many of runyu's subtleties, what lies beneath the lilt in his inflection eludes xingchen still. he'll likely wonder over it in the quiet moments between now and whenever the cider takes hold of his conscious thoughts - but for now, he just tilts his head slightly. )

You seem dangerously close to doing so now. ( don't think he hasn't noticed that voice coming from distinctly lower than runyu's typical upright posture, though whether his chin is propped on his hands or lying on folded arms can't quite be discerned. the last couple of groceries are going into the fridge now, and then xingchen steps over to join him at the table.

there's a moment's silence, enjoying his first little bit of rest after the day's activity and mulling over the possibility of teasing runyu just a bit more. his friend seems to delight in it, as much as he sometimes tries (and fails) not to show it. but his hands settle now on the table in front of him, right where he left the letter and gift before heading out for bavan, and instead what comes out is a quiet, )

Did you like it?

[ Runyu's smile grows and he nods with a low hum. He isn't sleepy or exhausted, as it may first appear to his dear friend, but more relaxed than he has been in countless years. He's even reverted to his old reclining pose. He lifts his head from its resting place to respond. ]

It is a very honorable gift and I will treasure it about the same silly way you will the frog. I hope you didn't injure your hands.

( for whatever it might be worth, xingchen had every intention of receiving whatever answer his friend might offer with some degree of self-restraint. that effort, however, goes right out the window when runyu says that he'll treasure it. an undeniable delight blooms so suddenly across his face that he's lifting his joined hands to prop on his elbows simply so he has something to hide his foolish smile behind.

ah, but speaking of his hands, runyu asks after them in the very next breath. xingchen shakes his head a bit, though he takes a moment to temper his smile just a bit before allowing said hands to return to the table so that he might speak. ) Nothing which hasn't already healed over. ( a beat, and then, ) I had the thought to have it enchanted by Mana so that it might function as it would have in my own realm.

[ Runyu can barely hold back his own silly smile at his friend's joy and it doesn't fade with his question. It's such an honorable effort on Xingchen's part, but truthfully, this step is unnecessary. Usually, he would retreat behind the courtesy of being unworthy, and a part of him acknowledges that truth still; however, that is not the reason for denying his friend this now.

He shakes his head with a light laugh. ]

That's alright, Xingchen. I don't need that kind of benediction. The thought already carved on it has more than enough power already. I do not want to belittle that. ( His hand lifts to rest on the coin. ) Mana's powers should be used for your comfort after giving me something like this. I do not need anything else.

[ The thought behind each carved stroke is already stronger than any wish he has received on his behalf. ]

Edited 2021-02-20 12:11 (UTC)

( at the laugh, his lips flicker again at the corners, but he manages to abstain from any more foolish grinning for now. instead, he listens as runyu declines the offer, entirely prepared to argue back that it's no trouble at all, and that runyu's peace of mind is far more important than whatever other use he might come up with for said coins - but all at once, he's distracted by the shift of runyu's hand.

since losing his sight, xingchen has grown quite used to the general presence of the unknown - little things (gestures, actions) which others do around him that aren't immediately pressing - which his mind mercifully no longer strives to comprehend. he has gotten quite skilled in parsing the relevant from the trivial, and from decidedly not allowing himself to wonder over what it was that he missed. and this, the quiet movement of runyu's hand, is likely trivial and indecipherable alike... but something about it catches inexplicably in the center of his chest and refuses to be dismissed so easily. it's just that the timing of the gesture and the placement of his hand left xingchen with a the fleeting picture of his charm as a pendant, not tucked away safely into a pocket like he'd thought. but he's probably incorrect - and it isn't as if he can ask, regardless. and so, with practiced care, he dislodges the notion from his mind and his chest to brush it aside with the rest of the unknown.

but it isn't entirely gone. there's a lingering hum of warmth in the spot in his chest, one which allows him to set down his vigilance just this once and offer a quiet but definitive, ) Alright. ( alright, he'll take runyu at his word that the coin will work as intended even in its current state. he'll trust that this isn't just a thing being said to deflect nay further effort on runyu's behalf. the smile returns, softer now than the delight of a minute ago. ) Alright, no enchantment for now.

Edited 2021-02-21 16:47 (UTC)

[ Runyu's smile doesn't fade as he lowers his hand back to the table. It isn't as if he's hiding that the coin has been made into a protective charm, but explaining the reasoning behind doing so is putting too much effort on personal gain. That doesn't mean that he will deny it if his friend finds out. He tilts his head again, recalling the letter that had accompanied the coin and the question about hobbies. ]

It seems I wasn't the only one surprised by a talent today. Is metalworking something you learned as a daozhang?

Edited 2021-02-22 06:29 (UTC)

( the question isn't one bit surprising, all things considered. though xingchen isn't one to consider his blindness a factor in what he is or isn't capable of, he does rationally recognize how unlikely such a skill probably seems with that in mind. )

Yes and no, ( he says, sitting up a bit now in his chair as if to settle in for an actual conversation, one hand thoughtlessly reaching for his cup of tea - but ah, that's right, just this once they've not prepared any. distracted by the banter and the concept of cider, almost certainly. but it has him standing now, hovering beside the table to say, ) Shall I prepare tea, or are we opening your cider?

( regardless of which one runyu chooses, he continues his answer as he fetches/prepares it. ) When I was a delightful young overachiever, I had the thought to craft my own spiritual blade. ( the amused lilt to his words suggests that this notion was entirely foolish. ) I proved quite ill-suited to smithing, and put the matter aside at the time. But a couple of years passed and I found myself away from my home for the first time in my recollection, faced with the matter of gathering currency for food. I was quite aware of currency, you see, but I hadn't yet dealt in it myself. But I came upon a merchant selling coin-charms much like yours, but for wealth and prosperity, for protection, for- virility, ( another note of amusement, because he distinctly recalls asking what such a thing means, to the utmost entertainment of everyone within earshot. ) But the prices... One coin-charm cost more than two weeks' meals, and they held so little qi that I had to touch one to feel it at all. I couldn't understand it. I could make the same thing for far cheaper, and could make certain my charms would work as they claimed to.

( by now, he has either put on a pot of tea and gathered a pair of mugs or fetched the cider and... probably still two mugs, let's be real - and he's returning to the table now to set the spoils between them. ) It took me entirely too long to accept that the road to starvation is paved with coin-charms sold at a reasonable price. The merchants chased me out of town, understandably, and I never quite returned to forging coins - apart from special occasions, I suppose.

[ Runyu takes a moment to deliberate on the choices set before him, smiling a little lopsided grin after as he lets his whims rule, and asks for both, keeping tea available to temper the cider if that is their wish. Whether or not they will become drunk this evening remains to be seen but he’s enjoyed the warmth of spirits nonetheless. He pours them both half a mug of the cider, and returns to his seat, setting his chin back on his hand as he listens to the remainder of Xingchen’s story, the kettle of tea hissing in the background.

There is much to learn from the story and much for Runyu to envy. It entirely escapes him that Xingchen has grown up as an orphan and with very little; it’s the spontaneity in his life that has him listening closely with a dazed expression on his face. He is far from unhappy. It’s the warm longing he’s felt most of his life, another expression tailored from years of observing other’s lives and knowing his will always be different. The dream of forging his own blade is nothing short of wondrous, brave and silly at the same time, and there’s no bitterness in his words about failing to keep making coins the proper way. This is a piece of his friend’s history but also another glimpse of freedom.

A small chuckle escapes him as he picks up the cider. ]

Well this one won’t chase you out if you wish to keep making them as long as you don’t hurt yourself too much. It’s a noble gift, after all.

( both it is, then. in that case, xingchen came back with the cider once he set the water to boil, cider and just the two cups for now - he'll grab another pair for the tea once that's ready as well.

in truth, xingchen hadn't intended to embrace any particular spontaneity. he had left the mountain quite deliberately and with every intent to plan responsibly for each new choice he made. the trouble with such a thing was how terribly difficult it is to plan for survival in a world which is all but unknown. none who left the mountain returned, after all, so who but baoshan sanren herself could have taught him? so what seems very much like spontaneity in retrospect was simply ignorance and improvisation. it truly is astoundingly fortunate that he encountered zichen quite so early in his journey, as he was already well on his way down the path to learning each and every one of the world's many lessons firsthand.

xingchen doesn't yet touch his own cider even once his tale is done - but unlike the cup which he foisted onto runyu at the festival, in this case it's simply the restlessness of attentive hosting, awaiting the whistle of tea so that he can serve that as well before he allows himself to rest.

and whistle it does before long, though it almost seems to wait just barely long enough to politely allow runyu to finish his words. words which have xingchen exhaling a smile, but he shakes his head as he stands again to fetch the tea. ) I've made all that I needed, ( he says, as simple as that. runyu has his coin and jiang wanyin has his own - what need would xingchen have to forge any more of them? perhaps if jiang wanyin's sister remained in this realm, he might have crafted her one as well, one more sliver of protection from a realm which seeks to eat each of them alive and to make them do the same.

but as he sets the tea to steep, something else seems to occur to him regarding runyu's assurance, and he huffs out an almost-laugh and asks, ) As long as I don't hurt myself too much. Does that mean you will be chasing me off if I do?

[ Runyu nearly chokes on the cider at his friend's joke, coughing and then grinning afterwards as he lets his throat clear. This side of Xingchen is like wind from the water's edge, filling the former immortal with contentment and overpowering the pale heat of the spirits in the cider. There's a pleasure in it that Runyu wishes will linger on after the fleeting evening. ]

That's rather cruel of me, kicking my host out of his own house for being too good of a person. What will the neighbors think?

[ He takes a moment to recover his wits, considering a further response as his friend prepares the tea.

But it doesn't take him overlong. There is no competition here. ]

I'll be taking your tools until you've learned to behave at the very least. Maybe bury them in the garden where you won't be able to get to them without disturbing the worn out vegetables.

( though neither quite realize it, their sentiments at the moment aren't quite so different. just as runyu finds himself refreshed by the jokes and the teasing, xingchen delights in his ability to do so. he feels incrementally lighter with each new facet of joy or amusement warming his friend's own words, most certainly reward enough to continue his teasing as long as he's able.

but - 'maybe bury them in the garden where you won't be able to get to them without disturbing the worn out vegetables.' xingchen has just set the steaming teapot on the table, and at these words he stops short before setting the new pair of mugs down as well, mouth falling open in delighted affront. ) But - then you've disturbed them! You can disturb them but I can't disturb them? That's hardly fair.

[ This time Runyu's ready for some kind of quip and has his cup lowered but Xingchen's mock outrage is even bette than he anticipated. A devious smirk lights up his face. ]

Well maybe someone who can handle them properly should. Really, Xingchen, you're a man of mystery. You know how to make coins but not how to put a few plants into the ground?

The plants are perfectly fine, ( xingchen argues back, but after a beat he adds, ) I think. ( they each get a mug for the tea now, and he's sinking back into his chair. ) I've not tended a garden before, so I suppose I wouldn't really know whether they're fine or not.

( meanwhile, just as he'd thought he heard, runyu has poured him some cider as well - the faint spiced-fruit scent of it wafts up from his prior mug, colored faintly with the darker undertone of fermentation. a flicker of anxiety darts up from the base of his spine, but xingchen sternly swallows it down. perhaps his last experience with spirits here as a were- was fraught, but he has learned quite a bit from that - about not drinking such things in public places, about various means by which to affect his otherwise-involuntary shifts, and about trusting those whom he's close to in case the worst does occur. and so, after a quiet considering hum, he lifts the cider to his lips to take a drink.

it's different, certainly, from that which he has tasted before. both times he has had any manner of alcohol were at some manner of alcohol-serving establishment in the city, whether bavan or felfri, and their drinks had been flavorful and pleasant but also carried a distinctly artificial taste. this cider, however, truly does taste like fermented spiced apple juice - a fact which he enjoys and finds disconcerting in equal measures, as a man who has lived in just enough scarcity to keep vigilant for the taste of fermentation in the past. but it's a reflex he can certainly overcome, because the flavor of it is genuinely delicious, enough so that he's already stealing another sip. ) I hadn't thought that the Night Immortal would have the time to learn to tend a garden. ( he knows very little about the title, but for the fact that it seemed like quite a weight on his shoulders. he spoke of the heavenly realm, of emperors and thrones, and the notion of him settling down to put plants in the dirt just doesn't quite fit that picture in xingchen's mind. )

Edited 2021-02-23 05:16 (UTC)

That’s a good question.

[ Runyu chuckles, smile dimming. He lowers his glass of cider, lacing it between his two hands and takes a minute to gather his thoughts. Truthfully, his experience in gardening is limited, arguably comparable to his friend’s, but that brief interlude remains something special. Even connected to the woman he betrayed on so many levels, he can’t cut the opportunity away. Perhaps it’s the moments connected to that bloom that he empathizes with, naive words followed by forgotten promises, struggling on his own in darkness alone, appearing invisible even when putting forth the effort. ]

Maybe I shouldn’t tease you about them. Really, they remind me of a flower gifted me long, long ago. It’s just the one time but I couldn’t fail. ( He shakes his head. )What was another challenge set before me to master alone without any guidance? Although, if I had taken it that way, perhaps it wouldn’t matter now. Be that as it may, I watched it grow from a tiny warm seed in a pouch to a sprout into plant ready to shine like the stars I envied above. It was my first flower. ( He snorts gently, reprimanding himself, and lifts his cup, taking a longer drink of the cider, supporting the ache that’s risen. ) Perhaps- ( He lowers the cider, a whimsical smile rising over his features, letting the words form as they never have before. ) Perhaps that is when I fell in love with her. And when I lost her.

( though runyu chuckles at the question, it's a different sort than his warm, lively chuckling and laughter of the past couple of minutes, and xingchen can't help but feel the slightest sinking of disappointment that he's managed to sour the mood on such a rare and joyous occasion.

but the disappointment is incomplete, since he does still get the chance to learn more about his friend and that's never something which xingchen can properly lament regardless of circumstances. and so he listens, mug of cider held thoughtlessly between his hands, as runyu tells of a single flower which he challenged himself to grow from seed to sprout to bloom. and as it turns out, a love which does the same - though the love seems regrettably shorter-lived, if grew with the flower and was lost when it came to bloom. xingchen hums a quiet sympathetic hum, but otherwise allows the words the space they deserve.

it gives him a moment to consider how to respond. does runyu wish to talk about it? would such a thing help? or would it only dishearten him on this otherwise joyful day? xingchen isn't entirely certain. in truth, he isn't sure that he himself has ever been in love. make no mistake, he has loved with every ounce of his being, but that's hardly the same thing. he has heard of two manners of being 'in love' - the coy and intricate dance of gentry courting, and the passion so terribly strong that one needs to possess and to make the person one's own - and neither have ever really resonated within him. he has little use for any gentry formalities, and as for the latter... the love which xingchen has experienced in his life has always made him lighter. softer. an open palm to alight on in trust, knowing he would not grab or capture or harm, because all that he seeks from those whom he loves is to allow him to do his best to bring them happiness.

perhaps being in love isn't at all as he's heard of it. perhaps it can be an open palm, a breeze to hold someone aloft when their wings grow tired. it doesn't truly matter either way, does it? for one who asks nothing of those whom he loves, it makes very little difference in outcome.

here and now, the considering pause isn't so long as the depth of his thought might seem - a few short seconds, certainly less than ten. then he takes a drink of his cider now, lifting his 'gaze' back to runyu where he sits. then, quiet and sure, ) We could grow flowers as well, if you'd like. ( but he realizes how that might sound, considering the connotation that 'growing a flower' has in runyu's life, so - ) I met a girl not far from Yi City shortly after I lost my sight. I still hadn't quite returned to myself, so I nearly passed by her without thinking to stop - but every couple of steps she took, I heard a quiet dusty little thump, something dropping to land on the road. And then she'd huff, so longsuffering, so much less like an eight-year-old child than a tired mother of eight, so I couldn't help but stop and inquire.

As it turns out, she was carrying radishes. Both arms were absolutely full of them, overfull, full enough to spill out no matter how much care she took, and that was the sound which I'd been hearing. And so I helped her carry them home, and in exchange for a place to sleep for the night, I figured out how to weave her a basket to carry such things in the future.

( a beat, and the slightest hint of his own bittersweetness has crept just barely into his tone when he continues. ) I settled in Yi City shortly after, but I never quite had the time to visit. A curse had begun to sweep through the smaller villages in the area, one which left no survivors, and I'd dedicated myself to bringing that curse to an end. But the following summer, a night hunt brought me close to her village, so I thought to check in on her. But her village had fallen to the curse as well, sometime before I arrived.

( which brings him to his actual point. he draws a slow breath, as if drawing himself back out of the gravity of the story a bit, and - ) For a number of weeks, the simple act of carrying a basket reminded me of her. Of lives which could have been saved if my timing were better, if I'd paused in fighting against the futility of that ridiculous curse for a day and a night so that I could check in soon enough to protect her.

But then one of our baskets found its end in the campfire one evening, and the other sat for a little too long in a puddle that A-Qing hadn't seen - the bottom dropped out as soon as we tried to use it. And so, as was only practical, I once again sat down to attempt to weave baskets. And the first one - ached, quite terribly. But the second one ached a bit less. By the end of the week we had six brand-new baskets, more than enough to account for whatever terrible fate at least one of them might encounter... And by the last of the baskets, it hardly ached at all. As if some part of what I'd been feeling escaped into each new basket I made.

( the slightest tilt of his head. ) Perhaps you'll need more than six flowers to dull your own ache... But I think we can manage, if you'd like. I can think of far worse fates than a yard full of flowers.

I- ( Runyu hesitates, as if weighing the circumstances before him, wondering if he has the right to speak this. Closing his eyes in an apology, he speaks the truth. ) I don’t hate flowers or her. Even if she will probably never forgive me. Even if I am responsible for all flowers disappearing in our realm for 10 years. Her flower was the one of the only comforts around me when my world was destroyed. When even my grief was something I had bear in silence because of the corruption. ( He drops his head and clenches his hands around the cup. More words spill forth and Runyu lets them, lets out a moment of hurt that's never been allowed out. Just a sliver of the loss from that time. ) The flower bloomed for me and stayed with me when its mistress didn’t and it was the last thing I could hold onto as I destroyed the realm. ( Runyu drains the last of his mug of cider before reaching for more with another small self-reproaching laugh. ) I’m ruining the mood. I apologize, my friend.

[ If Xingchen tries to interupt Runyu will raise a hand to stall him. ]

I’m not entirely sure why I confessed all of that, but I don’t regret it. And I won’t regret trying to grow more here, if you will allow it. ( He glances outside to the setting sun shadowing the trees, smile growing. ) The heavenly realm created a pale imitations of flowers to fill the emptiness and the garden outside my palace was one of the few sanctuaries I was allowed. It’s one of the few details I miss here and why I spend as much time as I do outdoors.

( these things which runyu speaks of - a world destroyed, all of the flowers disappearing from an entire realm - they're all so astounding in scale that xingchen honestly finds it a little bit difficult to wrap his mind around them. perhaps it might be simper when a person is raised with such a vast concept of existence. he himself hardly knew what lay beyond baoshan sanren's mountain range until nearly two decades into his life.

but then - 'i'm ruining the mood. i apologize, my friend.' and xingchen does indeed shake his head and open his mouth to offer assurance, though it's stopped short by runyu's further words (alas, the raised hand went unseen). instead, hearing his friend refill his cider has reminded xingchen of the mug held between his own hands, and he takes a generous drink of it now so as not to fall too far behind. one of the pitfalls of the entirety of his experience with such spirits taking place in jiang wanyin's company - the concept of not keeping pace doesn't quite occur to him. )

We'll grow as many as you'd like, ( he says once runyu's explanation is through, a smile curling at the corners of his own lips. ) As soon as the weather grows a bit more hospitable for them. ( and he finishes the little bit left in his cider. the cup is set down so he can hold onto his trailing sleeve with his off-hand as he leans to retrieve the cider from where he heard runyu set it back down, then pours his approximation of another half-mug of it. )

[ Runyu releases a gentle laugh at the generosity offered him by Xingchen yet again, wondering what he’s done in his poor life to deserve the friendship and freedom this man gives to him for so little in exchange. He doesn’t understand it. But he doesn’t regret accepting it either. In the past, a similar, more fleeting warmth is what saved pieces of his soul from the oblivion of his existence. And now, Xingchen's reach is deeper, more complete, making the wish engraved on his pendant a possible dream.

He tilts head up towards his friend.]

How’s the cider?

( what has he done to deserve it? that's a question he'd do best not to ask xingchen himself, lest the man shower him with innumerable reasons compiled over their time as housemates thus far. perhaps the better question is why he's ever been judged to deserve anything less.

when runyu asks after the cider, xingchen exhales a sheepish little grin. ) It's quite pleasant. Certainly different from that which I've tasted before. Do you like it? ( he was really just guessing at runyu's tastes, and there were two or three other ciders to choose from. )

( The declaration brings a warm smile to his companion's lips as he turns his cup in his hands. ) I do, indeed. There's enough of the spirit's warmth in the bouquet to brighten the night but enough sweetness of the apples to temper any wanderings. It's a good choice for you, too; although, you don't have to keep up with my pace. Drinking is easier on your body if it's at you leisure.

( it's amusing, the almost poetic way that runyu speaks of the facets of their beverage of choice - and it's amusing in an entirely different way when he's called on his attempt to match his friend's drinking (he was, in fact, taking another drink of cider right at the moment it's mentioned).

with a little laugh-breath, ) Forgive me. Apparently Jiang Wanyin has taught me bad habits. ( he does lower the cider to the table now, at least for the moment. )

[ Runyu nods with a small hum, looking outside the room. One hand tugs out the pendant he's been given, rubbing his fingers against the wish engraved upon it. His mind returns to the challenge of the garden. ]

Xingchen, is there something that you want in the garden or house? Something you've missed from your past life that can be recreated?

( is there anything he wants? xingchen takes a moment to reflect on the question, to think back across his life and the things which he has treasured most throughout it, all the while taking a drink of the cider to fill the contemplative pause.

then he shakes his head, followed up with a reassuring smile. ) No, I'm not sure that there is. ( a flicker of his brow, considering. ) Or I suppose it's more fitting to say that we already have. ( as much as it was all one more facet of xue yang's overarching trickery, after his first couple of months in ryslig found him living alone, xingchen couldn't help but miss the odd domesticity of their strange little life in yi city. runyu's presence within his home has all but alleviated that ache altogether. )

Edited 2021-02-26 09:54 (UTC)

ic inbox, ryslig.

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