ic inbox, ryslig.

[daozhangs]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, XIAO.XINGCHEN. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 018.07.154.55 *** XIAO.XINGCHEN has joined 018.07.154.55 <XIAO.XINGCHEN> You have reached Xiao Xingchen. <XIAO.XINGCHEN> I am often away from my laptop, but I will do my best to answer as soon as I'm able.

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Ruminating -- Late September

[fishfairy]

[ It comes one day when Runyu has retreated for a walk in the woods, carving more animals in solitude, after taking another life. When looking to his right wrist again, recalling the coins saved and his initial plan after sacrificing the bracelet. ]

My friend, I find myself hesitating. May I ask some foolish questions while I sit under the trees?

[daozhangs]

( it's quite unusual, to receive a message from runyu via the laptop like this. what with their cohabiting, they tend to have more than enough time face-to-face for such conversations.

but xingchen reserves his concern, for now. the question seems light enough in tone, for as little as that truly says with one so skilled as runyu at acting unbothered. and so: )

You may, provided you're alright with foolish answers.

[fishfairy]

[ Runyu lets out a small breath of amusement at his friend's easy reply. ]

Have you ever given me silly answers?

[daozhangs]

Of course. Was that not an example just there?

( it had felt somewhat silly, at the very least. )

[fishfairy]

[ Runyu nearly snorts and is glad that he decided to wait for a response instead of beginning to carve again. He can't help himself with his reply, either. ]

Does that even count?

[daozhangs]

Just so that I'm clear on the matter, are these your foolish questions?

[fishfairy]

No, I'm sorry to disappoint you but these weren't the questions I meant.

[ But the interlude into ludicrous commentary has given Runyu time to adjust to those inquiries without worrying overmuch.

But not yet.]

[daozhangs]

That wasn't a question. Have I won the game?

( or were they answering only in questions by pure coincidence? )

[fishfairy]

Wait, what game?

[ Runyu is now officially confused. And distracted from his original objective. ]

[daozhangs]

I can't quite tell if you're truly confused or just terribly clever.

Assuming the former, your first three messages ended in questions, so I'd thought there was some sort of question game afoot. I suppose that now you can now rest assured that your 'foolish questions' can't possibly as foolish as my own.

[fishfairy]

[ Runyu hesitates in replying immediately, cautiously examining his friend's answer for another verbal trap. Instead, he finds nothing but more 'foolish' words. He chuckles as he composes his reply. ]

Perhaps not.

Have you hesitated in using Mana's powers or considered whether the gifts she bestows on us are ... imitations instead of what we ask for.

[daozhangs]

( as it turns out, the questions burning at runyu's mind are even less foolish than xingchen had pictured. in fact, they're reasonable questions which anyone looking to have dealings with mana might consider. )

I admit that I haven't, to either one. I've not asked for anything which could really be replaced by any sort of imitation, nor have I found myself reluctant to make use of that which I've traded for.

[fishfairy]

Then... is it foolish to hesitate to ask for something when the forces of the realm already know too much about you?

The monthly curses seem too potent already without me admitting to a weakness or weaknesses.

[daozhangs]

Your concerns are well-founded, in such a place as this - but they rest on the assumption that any amount of vigilance might make a difference. My experience so far suggests that isn't the case, and that those things which haunt us will haunt us here regardless of whether or not we've admitted to them. By my understanding, the Fog God chooses the manner of monstrosity which most suits or conflicts with our innermost nature.

I've found it far simpler to assume that she knows all of that which we've hidden and prepare accordingly.

That said, Mana is unaffiliated with any known god and has thus far given no reason that I'm aware of to doubt the integrity of her bartering or anything gained from it.

[fishfairy]

[ His friend’s words offer both large amounts of warm comfort and equal amounts of cold disconcerting images. Runyu wants to argue with him — to argue that if he had the capacity to hide his secrets from even himself that he could fool a foreign immortal — but Runyu can still be a rational being. He has suffered too much agony since his arrival (nearly a year ago) to put any belief in her choices being coincidences. However, putting her power into words is more terrifying than he has imagined. Placing himself that deeply in another’s control, even indirectly.

His hands clench around his laptop.

Before he breathes out a ragged breath, expelling all that poison.

He cannot, will not, fight her. Or this existence.

He will not jeopardize this new beginning whatever the price. ]

Has she ever turned that person’s wish against them?

[daozhangs]

She has been bartering with monsters for far greater a time than I have been here, and I can account for very little of that.

To my knowledge, however, she has not.

That said, her magic is not infallible. There are times in which it does not manifest as intended by either her or the recipient. By my understanding, such instances can be remedied.

[fishfairy]

[ Once more, Runyu is left with conflicting emotions when dealing with his friend's honesty. It's reassuring in the fact that his friend doesn't know of any wrongdoings with Mana's dealings. However, that there is an understood chance of mishap with these transactions is just as disconcerting. His friend is no fool. He does not believe Mana could hoodwink him after his past. However, fortune has never favored him.

He will have to continue his inquiries and hopefully, he does not worry Xingchen. ]

What has happened and what does it take to remedy these failings?

[daozhangs]

By my understanding, most such missteps have occurred when shifting from one monstrous form to another.

The same magic can remedy the situation, but at the same cost as the spell itself had been. I think, perhaps, that the coins may be a part of the magic itself. She doesn't strike me as the type to willfully charge to repair a mistake.