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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, XIAO.XINGCHEN. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 018.07.154.55 *** XIAO.XINGCHEN has joined 018.07.154.55 <XIAO.XINGCHEN> You have reached Xiao Xingchen. <XIAO.XINGCHEN> I am often away from my laptop, but I will do my best to answer as soon as I'm able. | ||||
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in so many ways, xingchen's good sense is fully intact and sharper even than ever - but in other ways, it feels very much like he's lost his senses altogether. how else could one explain this? him, waist-deep in the lake with a live fish gripped between his bare hands, being scolded for cheating by what xingchen has quite objectively decided is the prettiest boy he's ever met, whom he happens to be courting (in some terribly hapless way). or perhaps he's receiving the courting? he hasn't yet figured that out, and their older selves yielded spectacularly little assistance on that front.
the outrage has him glancing back at the fish he's tossed onto the pier as if briefly considering putting it back to right his mistake, but then he's exhaling a laugh-breath (he's been doing that quite a bit, these last few days) and: ) I wasn't aware that we were competing. ( and the crisp formality which has long since permeated his natural tone wars terribly with a warm, bright new note of fond humor, however terrible he may yet be at it.
but now jiang wanyin is approaching, marching his way over to no-doubt continue the scolding, and xingchen himself is currently a far cry from the paragon of poise and dignity one might expect - hair and robes both largely soaked through and cheeks reddening faintly just by virtue of being grinned at like that - but he nonetheless shifts his stance neatly to square up to wanyin's approach, even as the grin on the boy's face drags that much more of one to xingchen's. he tries and fails to swallow it back for a moment before simply tilting his head to ask, ) Is this not some manner of Yunmeng courtship - assailing me with your finest catch? ( oh, that was a good one. perhaps he's getting better at this already. )
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Jiang Cheng had been the one to step towards him all puffed up to issue his challenge and defend his fish-catching pride, but now that Xiao Xingchen has squared up, too, he finds himself floundering with his mouth dry and head all buzzy as if he had bees swirling around in it.
He is... He is so...
He gulps. That is to say, he is very wet. And his white robes are clinging to him. And he looks flushed and rumpled and so devastatingly, charmingly real and not just like the untouchable reputation of Xiao Xingchen. He is really real and really here and Jiang Cheng is allowed to touch him and why, he could probably even kiss him if he was brave enough to do so! Which he is not, but he could! There is no chaperone to ensure they won't do anything improper before wedlock.
He scowls, because scowling is always what he retreats into, and puffs himself up some more. ] Of course it's not! Yunmeng courtship is much better! I would take you on outings to the loveliest places! There would be the finest tea and best pastries, and I would buy you gifts, too! Not just throw fish at your head. And A-Die would send you red chests with spiritual treasures and hire the most illustrious matchmaker in all of Yunmeng for us!
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perhaps fortunately for jiang wanyin, the 'wet robes' aspect of said discomfort hasn't quite occurred to xingchen - though he continues to be very much aware of their newfound proximity, which (even at the height of his flusterment) jiang-xiong doesn't retreat from so much as a centimeter. instead, the boy puffs himself up that much further, going off now about yunmeng courtship. outings and tea and gifts, matchmakers hired (as if they've not made the match all on their own). and to all of this, xingchen hums a thoughtful hum - letting jiang wanyin squirm a bit, maybe, especially as he has yet to properly break the eye contact between them.
then, quiet with proximity but with the underlying note of a challenge, ) And if I've no proper dowry to offer? ( he's not even positive what a proper dowry entails, but he knows that he doesn't have it. )
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His eyes widen at the question and the challenge that comes with it, caught in horror somewhere between the realization that he might have caused offense and horror at the discovery that he may really like it when Xingchen gets all challenging on him while he is so close (and his robes so clinging.)
This is all terribly unfair, that's what it is. ]
No! [ he blurts out, then scrunches up his face into a scowl and tries again. ] I mean, yes. Or no? [ He huffs, feeling all indignant and bullied by his own lack of eloquence. ] What I'm trying to say is, that doesn't matter. My older self doesn't care and even A-Niang approves of you. [ He sounds hushed and awed at that still, just as he was when he stumbled across that tidbit in their writings. ] A-Niang doesn't approve of anyone, not even of Wei Wuxian, and he is far smarter and better than I am.
[ Okay, wait, maybe he shouldn't say that, what if Xingchen changes his mind about liking him? He doesn't even know why he likes him at all, either in the future-past or now. Jiang Cheng had been such a teary mess when they first met, so unmanly and embarrassing.
He turns up that glare a little more, just in case. ] But you're not allowed to like him better than me.
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'no!' the response comes quite abruptly, and it's all xingchen can do not to furrow his brow. his question hadn't been one of a yes-or-no nature, and yet it takes two further tries for jiang-xiong to arrive at an answer to match. but then he does, insisting in no uncertain terms that 'that doesn't matter', and xingchen's teeth close on the inside of his bottom lip to bite back the foolish smile which threatens to break through his composure. (he wouldn't mind so much - he has quickly learned the delights of allowing jiang wanyin to make him smile, and earning such smiles in return - but for the fact that right this moment, it would undermine the challenge which they both have yet to back down from.)
oh, but then there's all this about wei wuxian and how he's smarter and better and other such nonsense, as if xingchen truly stood at risk of up and 'liking wei wuxian better'. the thought of it aches in the space beneath his sternum, because how often must that have occurred for jiang wanyin to worry so terribly over it? xingchen draws in a breath, sighing it out a moment later as he presses his lips together in a moment of thought.
then he's moving, shifting a half-step closer still, and one hand lifts to settle warm and tender on his companion's cheek. ) Perhaps you haven't read quite far enough back through our letters, ( he says, barely more than a murmur now. ) Early in our correspondence, you seemed to doubt yourself quite similarly. And so I reminded you that that even in the farthest reaches of our homeland, Sect Leader Jiang Wanyin was known. He was a man who inherited an empty home and built from it an honorable sect with naught but his force of will. ( xingchen was, admittedly, quite impressed to have learned that.
his thumb strokes thoughtlessly over the soft skin of his companion's cheek. ) If it's not too unreasonable to ask, it would mean a great deal to me if you gave yourself a bit more credit.
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He listens to the voice that is so quiet and familiar for it, saying all these things he hardly knows how to deal with - or the feelings they awaken in him, soft and tender feelings that leave him as overwhelmed as the whole situation is doing already. Sect Leader Jiang. That is still so strange to him, and more than a little bit intimidating to think about, or all the tragedies that will come and pass (which fortunately don't feel real yet, just like stories, or he would be going mad from knowing the terrible future but being too late to stop it.)
And then, then he goes and strokes his cheek. The long-awaited squawk finally breaks free from his throat. ]
Xiao Xingchen! [ he yelps, and slaps a hand over his cheek and Xingchen's hand, just to make sure it won't be going anywhere while he puffs himself up in outrage. ] How can you say such things! You...! [ He huffs, lips pursed into a pout while his face remains bright red. ] You don't even know me well enough to say such things about me [ he finally decides to say, when he realizes he doesn't know how to give voice to the flustered happiness that makes him feel like floating. ] Maybe your older self exaggerates. [ A moment's hesitation. ] And old me can't be that great anyway, he is doddering and slow or he would have married you already!
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and then comes the rest of it - at this point, xingchen has decided to wait for him to get all of the arguments out before offering any response, since jiang-xiong certainly seems to have a list of them - and once the objections are done, a quiet moment of consideration.
then, ) I don't presume to understand the person I become, but I do know that he has no more taste for lying and flattery than I do. ( and so if his past-future self said it in such a way, then that's the way in which it happened. as for the rest... ) I also know that the person you become has carried a great deal of pain for far too long. Pain which has arrived at his feet, not all at once, but piece by piece in such a way that he doesn't dare trust that anything good is meant for him until it's thrust into his lap with no option for compromise. ( if even then. it was a reoccurring theme over months and months of letters, refusal after refusal to accept that anything resembling happiness is within his reach. xingchen can only assume that what they've found between them - his own past-future self and jiang wanyin's - feels desperately fragile to him, ready to disappear into the wind at the slightest misstep.
he can only hope that the xingchen which stands beside him has figured out how to teach jiang wanyin that his love is a safe place to rest. it's-... not frustrating exactly but something adjacent to it, the fact that xingchen (this one, here right now) can't remember it. that he doesn't know how they are when they're speaking rather than writing, doesn't know if his older self quite recognizes when there's need to push lest he allow himself to be kept at a distance and allow jiang wanyin to be lonely. he's never been one for thought exercises, that was always zichen, while xingchen (in all of his patience and discipline) greatly preferred those things which he might take into his own hands and solve them. perhaps he's spoiled, in his own way. as a rogue cultivator and wandering daozhang, it's rare to encounter an issue which he can't have a hand in improving if not fixing it altogether, and he isn't at all equipped to deal with feelings of impotence.
he's been quiet for a few moments, he realizes, but the sort of unfinished quiet which feels like more words are likely on the way. it was unintentional - he hadn't anything further to say, just the ambient churning of his restless thoughts (none of which are of any use to present to jiang wanyin, at least not in their current state). so instead, his gaze returns to his companion's, and his words come on the back of a quiet smile. ) Regardless, I'm not so fickle with my favor, and you've no chance of losing it. Do you believe me? Or... ( give him a moment, he's not good at this part. xingchen glances over at the dock almost as if searching for inspiration, then down at the water, and aha: ) Or will I have to splash you until you've agreed? ( confident, but with the precise flicker of awkwardness expected of a well-disciplined person testing out such horseplay threats for the first time in nearly two decades of life. )
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This is new, and new is unfamiliar, with rules he doesn't know but may still break.
And yet... And yet he is saying nice things about Jiang Cheng, or favorable ones, anyway, even if the conclusions he has drawn about Jiang Cheng's future are unsettling. He has drawn his own, and come about to the same result, albeit in a less flattering manner. His grown-up self doesn't seem a very happy man, or particularly fortunate in life. Someone lonely and bitter who reminds this Jiang Cheng more of his mother than anyone he would like to grow up to be.
Maybe it's not so surprising, after all, why his old self hasn't yet done his bows with Xingchen. Foolish and frustrating, but not surprising.
The question whether he believes him and then the threat of splashing is enough of a mood changer to yank him out of his glum thoughts, eyes startled and wide. ]
I'm not going to agree to anything if you threaten me with splashing! [ There's some further indignation to his tone, for he needs to hide all these other thoughts and doubts beneath something, but there is also an opening in his question to bring it back to the thing Jiang Cheng keeps being bothered by. At least, once he has kicked out his leg to splash Xingchen a little in the water. That has to come first. ] If your favor is not fickle, then why are we not married yet!
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(and no, his companion's grown self isn't an especially happy man. but xingchen would like to think that his letters had seemed happier lately than those at the start - would like to think that he himself may have somehow made even a bit of a difference in his companion's prevailing unhappiness, even if it feels very much like a different 'himself' entirely.)
the teasing, meanwhile, worked just as intended. jiang wanyin is once again yelping out protests and threats, splashing at xingchen with a leg for good measure. and xingchen allows himself to be splashed, entirely (perhaps even annoyingly) unbothered by being fractionally more wet than he was a moment ago, especially in light of the question which follows.
were jiang wanyin still acquainted with the nuances of xingchen's expressions, he might recognize the subtle draw of the young daozhang's brow - subtle but dangerous, a small but telltale sign that he's made xingchen think about something quite a bit more thoroughly than intended. it rarely ends well for jiang wanyin... or at least, it rarely ends without some manner of shouting, squawking, or (once upon a time) mechanical screeching.
in the two, three, four-second pause that follows, it may be enough to worry this jiang wanyin as well - which is fine. it probably should. xingchen's gaze lifts now to meet his. ) One can assume that it has yet to be thrust into his lap with no option for compromise. ( his words are casual enough, if just slightly too measured. ) Assuming it's not too presumptuous to think such a thing might count as 'something good'.
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But he can catch that, and he squirms, since he only knows to brace for something, but not enough to tell if there will be teasing or... something else. Something undefined. Jiang Cheng does not appreciate unexpected things.
...and then Xingchen goes and says that. He chokes on his own spit and feels his cheeks burn, overwhelmed by the daring now that it is Xingchen's words instead of his own thoughtlessly blurted-out demands. ]
With no compromise? [ he squeaks, finding himself intrigued despite himself. Caught up in truly wicked thoughts. He steps closer, bringing them straight face to face. ] Do you think we could do that? Could we just make decisions for them, and they have to follow through?
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one might, but xingchen certainly wouldn't. he meant it just as it was received, a challenge received and a challenge issued in return. and jiang wanyin steps closer now, close enough that the hand on his face feels a bit out of place so xingchen allows it to drop and settle on his companion's shoulder, maintaining eye contact in this new proximity for as long as jiang wanyin does. 'do you think we could do that?' xingchen's lips press together, subtly considering for just a moment, and he nods. ) Had we been strangers, it would be simple enough, I think, to disregard it as some manner of fluke... But given the nature of their regard for one another, ( 'of our regard for one another', really, because it's not as if they're truly so separate from these older selves, ) I think that we could.
( if that's something which jiang wanyin thinks that he would want. because that's a different matter altogether, really. )
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It would be very reckless of us [ he states, though it is not intended as a rebuke, as the gleam in his eyes clearly betrays. ] Our older selves will be absolutely furious with us... though they won't be able to punish us, unless they want to punish themselves in our stead. [ He sucks in a sharp breath, the excitement only raising in him. ] Which means [ he concludes, leaning even closer ] Xiao-xiong, it means we could get away with it.
[ Clearly the most daring and heroic feat he can imagine, pulling such a trick on their older selves and getting away unpunished.
And then he deflates a little, a hint of a pout bleeding back into his grin. ] That is. If you are quite sure you want to be married to me. But you should consider it would only be the respectable thing to do!
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his companion steps closer now, enough so that they're nearly chest to chest, and it's xingchen's turn to draw in an abrupt (if measured) breath, diligently focusing on the topic at hand rather than the warmth radiating from jiang wanyin and how pleasant it feels compared to the chill of his damp robes.
they could get away with it. it's more thrilling a thought than xingchen would like to admit. 'that is. if you are quite sure you want to be married to me.' one might could argue that question's irrelevance, compared to whether his older self would like to be (seeing as he's the one who would have to live with such a decision), but that sort of rationality is the slightest bit beyond xingchen at the moment.
instead, ) I plan to save this world and those who live in it. ( his tone has taken on a new sort of resolve now, steadfast and earnest - one which persists as he asks, ) Would you like to save it with me?
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Fortunately for Xiao Xingchen, this Jiang Cheng is a wide-eyed teenage boy enraptured by the stories of earnest heroics, and the great heroes of the jianghu who make them come true.
He gasps a little at being asked to be part of this, all but starry-eyed and swooning because Xingchen is so dashing. How could he not swoon at least a little bit? Impossible. ] I? [ he breathes, and then he is nodding, eager little nods, and he places his hands on Xingchen's shoulders. ] This world is beleaguered by monstrous creatures and evil gods! I would fight side by side with you to save it, if you will have me! [ And then that fervor dies a little, giving way to flusterment, as he adds, ] We would fight as cultivation partners.
[ So forward. So shameless of him. Woah. He is really wowed by his own bravery right now. ]
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for now, the effusive response which it earns is enough to sow cracks in the gravity of the question, and through those cracks grows the tiniest tug of a smile. 'we would fight as cultivation partners,' jiang wanyin says, sounding almost embarrassed by the words, and that won't do - xingchen nods. ) We would, ( he agrees, followed by a huff-breath shaped suspiciously like a delighted laugh as the smile spreads into a proper grin despite himself. ) We will. ( an important correction by his standards, both hands lifting to rest lightly on his companion's forearms just below where jiang wanyin grips his shoulders.
which really just leaves the matter of: ) When? ( for the proceedings, that is, not the near-endless night hunt set before them. )
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Ummm... I don't know? [ He pouts a little at this, how dare reality get in the way of their grand marriage heist. ] We don't have parents or matchmakers here to arrange the match, and I wouldn't even know where to find an astrologer to pick an auspicious date.
[ Which means... Well he's not exactly sure what this means or should mean, but he gives a little shrug and looks at Xiao Xingchen's hands on his forearms. That feels nice, even through fabric. What would it be like if they were holding hands properly as a kind-of-betrothed couple? So exciting! So daring! ] I suppose we could do it now? [ It sounds more like a question than a suggestion. ]
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I don’t think I own any red. ( this, like jiang wanyin’s words, comes out more like a question than intended. ) I’m sure that I could find some, if I can have ‘til early evening?
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Early evening is acceptable. I will have to search for something red to wear as well. It must be possible to find something in this entire estate. [ He hopes. He really hopes. It can't be that hard, right? ] And if we are to have the ceremony here at Lotus Pier, then I will prepare everything, too, and I will make sure we have food and wine.
[ He grins. ] See? I'm already taking good care of you! Better than my older self does, living in scandal!
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they'll be married early this evening. married, he and this man whom he's known for half a week and also more than a year, and it all just feels so terribly surreal that there's very little room for practicality to fill the space around it. were he any more properly grounded, xingchen might consider attempting to gather some manner of dowry regardless (it's only fair, isn't it?).
(he might also think what a shame it is that zichen can't be here to celebrate with them. then, of course, he would recall that zichen soon suffers and dies by his hand, so he supposes his dear friend's absence is not in his right to lament.)
but rather than any sort of pragmatism, he's filled with a strange sort of lightness - perhaps contributing to the half-dreamlike state of things or perhaps even because of it - and when jiang wanyin grins, the return grin is nearly automatic, spreading foolishly across his lips before he presses them together to try and fail to swallow it back. it's a losing fight, he knows, especially with all of this terribly sweet 'already taking good care of you' nonsense he's getting all the while.
and, 'better than my old self does, living in scandal!' to which xingchen offers a fond consoling little hum, one hand lifting to tuck a damp bit of flyaway hair behind jiang wayin's ear. ) I'm sure that he does just fine, ( he says, his tone perhaps a bit too warm and fond for the length of time which they've known one another, but it can't be helped... nor can the way in which he leans in now to brush the lightest kiss to jiang wanyin's cheek.
then he's turning quite definitively to haul himself back up out of the water and onto the dock, if only to distance himself a bit from the source of the flush of red now rising up along his cheeks and the tips of his ears. ) I'll see you this evening, ( is the farewell he bids as slips into his boots and heads off toward the gates, somehow managing all the poise and collection of a young daozhang despite the fact that he's dripping wet from nearly head to toe and actively wringing the water from his voluminous sleeves along the way. )
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He just kissed his cheek!
Jiang Cheng stands there, stock still with wide, startled eyes and a thoroughly chili-red face, trying his hardest to stifle the little noises escaping his throat as he deals with the facts of this new reality. A reality in which Xiao Xingchen's lips had touched his cheek. Lips! On his face! He can still feel the phantom touch of warm lips against his cheek, so tender and gentle and...! He brings a hand up to cradle his cheek.
Wait. Xiao Xingchen is talking again. Something about the evening. ] Uhuh [ he murmurs, barely aware of the words but very aware of the lips - lips!!! - saying them.
Then he's turning around and walking away and that gives Jiang Cheng the view on no more lips - no! - but instead the view of his wet robes clinging to him, backside and all. He gives a panicked squawk and looks away, gaze firmly fixed on some lotuses. ]
Tonight! [ he yelps, though he still isn't quite sure he remembers what he just agreed to. Hopefully it really was that he will be back tonight, for the wedding, or else Jiang Cheng is going to have a very humiliating evening. ]
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it's... quite a bit harder than anticipated, to say the least. he's almost ready to forfeit and improvise when one final shop at the edge of town yields the first garments in all of his search with any real familiarity to it. only two or three garments off in one corner of the shop, marketed quite clearly as dresses for women, but one is the proper red it will certainly serve well enough for the occasion.
and so, as the earliest shadows of evening begin to filter in amongst the light of the late afternoon sun, a red figure can be spotted approaching the gates of lotus pier. at first glance, it almost seems as though he's found a proper robe after all, but it's only passably so in form and certainly not in function. the overlapped 'robe' front is sown in place, and it's quite fortunate that the garment is a couple of layers thick on its own because no further layers can be effectively worn over-top or underneath.
at the gate, xingchen pauses, drawing a deep breath into a chest slightly tighter with anticipation and (he'll admit it) nerves.
and then he knocks. )
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He had said he would have Lotus Pier ready by evening, and well, it would have been an optimistic assessment even for a Lotus Pier fully staffed with disciples and servants, but by himself? Cooking alone would take him so long, not that he actually gets that far.
No, he trips right over #1 on the itinerary: his wedding robes. Simple fact is, his older self doesn't own anything red and searching the other rooms doesn't come with any more luck. Where is a convenient Wen when you need them? It's all Jiang uniforms, and private clothes in sensible colors. Nothing red, except in one trunk which holds dusty old robes that include red underrobes. Which is almost worse than not finding any red robes at all, it's not like he can get married in his underwear! It would be far too shameless.
He has some more luck with the decorations, finding in the inventory the huge swathes of cloth in which Lotus Pier is draped for special occasions - white for mourning, red for weddings. Not that he has time, or is able to arrange these drapings around the gate and entrances to various buildings, though he does manage to haphazardly attach some to the gates of Lotus Pier and the doors of Sword Hall, where he has decided the wedding will take place. This also leaves with heaps of leftover red cloth, so in the end, he just cuts off a sizeable swath of the red drapes and wraps them around himself over the red under robes. Nobody will notice, right?
He has just barely managed to track down some wine and the leftover sweets from his Bavan trip when he hears the knock and rushes over.
Sword Hall, at least, is festive enough brightly lit with candles in the dying daylight and filled with the scent of their best incense. ]
You're here! [ he yelps as he yanks open the door and nearly trips over his too-long impromptu robes. And then his mouth opens and closes a few times as he takes in what Xiao Xingchen is wearing. It is unusual in cut but it is delicate and fluttery and... His blush returns. ] You are pretty. [ His eyes widen in alarm. ] Not that you aren't always pretty!
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a verdict which jiang wanyin proves wrong no more than a second later, blushing an even lovelier red than his makeshift attire and then stumbling his way through none other than a compliment.
and xingchen breathes out a quiet grin, gaze dropping to the space between them for a moment as he tries and fails to will away his own blush. ) Yes, well. ( don't mind him, stepping in to lift both hands and smoothly adjust the 'collar' of the curtains which jiang wanyin wears so they lie more comfortably in place. ) I don't suppose that might count as my dowry? ( he's teasing, of course. he hasn't forgotten that such a thing was declared unnecessary. )
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How is he supposed to be using his words when Xiao Xingchen is right in front of him, and fussing with his
curtain togamakeshift robes? He blushes even more fiercely at the small tender gesture. It is so doting. So... so... so domestic. ]We are going to be married! [ he breathes, all shocked and terrified and still so very excited. It had been his idea to do it right away but it is still overwhelming to think this is really happening. It bowls him over once again whenever he lets himself think about it.
He shuffles his feet a little and looks away. ] Being pretty can be your dowry, why not [ he tells him belatedly, trying to regain some semblance of dignity. He coughs. ] I prepared Sword Hall. I hope you don't mind. It's not... what it would have been at home. [ Slowly, he offers his hand to Xingchen, palm up. ] But it's the best I could do?
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and so when he sets his hand in jiang wanyin's, he goes a step beyond the expected formality and grips it instead, light but steady. one might even call it an assurance of solidarity. ) I don't mind, ( he says, a quiet smile still lingering at the corners of his lips. ) It's-... ( he almost said 'it's lovely', but what a silly thing to say. how would he know? he hasn't even seen it. instead, he simply says, ) I don't mind at all.
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