ic inbox, ryslig.
WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, XIAO.XINGCHEN. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 018.07.154.55 *** XIAO.XINGCHEN has joined 018.07.154.55 <XIAO.XINGCHEN> You have reached Xiao Xingchen. <XIAO.XINGCHEN> I am often away from my laptop, but I will do my best to answer as soon as I'm able. | ||||
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of course, to clarify would only embarrass his husband, which is far from the reward he deserves for being so impossibly endearing - so instead, an affectionate murmur of: ) Certainly not. ( which in no way pretends to be anything but the 'i love you' that it is.
but then jiang wanyin has settled again, and something in the air feels to grow just a little bit heavier. xingchen's hands wrap around his cup of tea, still too hot to the touch in precisely the way that he has craved in these unusually chilly days since his latest approximation of death, as he listens to jiang wanyin segue back to talk of his worry. of the trials they've endured, though he speaks as if xingchen endured them alone - as if both occasions hadn't caused wanyin far more distress than they ever caused xingchen. 'have you been healing well?'
xingchen nods an affirmative. ) With the fog, as we hoped. ( a pause, and: ) You can examine it while the tea cools, if you'd prefer that be out of the way. ( or does jiang wanyin feel equipped to enjoy their tea without ruminating on what lies under the bandage? )
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I would prefer to have it out of the way [ he finally admits, still sounding a little sheepish. ] I... just find it hard to ignore it. [ It has been so hard for days and now that he finally has the opportunity to check on him, it is impossible not to be impatient.
Xiao Xingchen's offer is read as an invitation - or generously interpreted as one anyway, before he might change his mind - so he reaches for his husband again, going for the arm he had mentioned having injured this time. His fingers hover at the edge of the sleeve, ready to pull it up for an inspection, though his eyes flicker back to his face first. ] May I?
pretend the wounds/scarring in the pics is limited to the upper forearm
the offer was indeed an invitation, and one which jiang wanyin has answered so very thoughtfully at that. to the permission asked, xingchen releases his cup of tea with both hands, his free hand drawing back the loose sleeve of his robe to reveal bandaging wrapped diligently around his forearm, from just below the elbow to a hand's-width above the wrist. from here, the arm is offered out into jiang wanyin's care, what with him having two free hands to unwrap the bandaging compared to xingchen's one.
what lies underneath looks far better than it did just after the incident, no longer blackened and near-necrotic due largely to the fog. now it's a lesser mess of raw healing red interspersed with the telltale bloodless pale of lifeless skin which would no doubt peel away before the healing was through. no attempt is made to reassure jiang wanyin of any lack in severity. it would only seem patronizing, at this point, with the wound laid out before him to see for himself. )
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It looks painful [ he murmurs, his voice as gentle as his hands had been, though neither his voice nor his hands are particularly used to being gentle. He didn't see the wound when it was fresh, which makes it harder to truly feel that this is better, even if he knows it to be true from having seen acid burns before on night hunts. This is miraculous healing for just a few days, he should be grateful, except...
How can he be grateful when Xingchen has suffered any hurt at all? He shakes his head a little and finally reaches out to very softly brush his fingers over the rough, uneven skin of his upper forearm. ] I'm glad to see you are healing. I... I just wish you would not have been harmed at all. [ It sounds so plaintive, even to his own ears. Not daring to grasp his forearm any further, he entangles their fingers instead. His eyes find Xingchen's face and he smiles, if a little bit chagrined. ] If I could, I would protect you from all harm, even unfortunate accidents like this one. I know I can't and you wouldn't be happy with the life you could have if I tried. But I still don't like seeing you hurt.
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the brush of fingertips comes later than expected, and somewhat lighter than perhaps is necessary (the raised areas which receive the most attention also retain the least sensation, and wanyin certainly isn't seeking out the reddened recesses which burn a bit more to the touch), but xingchen allows his husband to examine the affliction at his own pace and in whichever manner he chooses. when those explorative fingertips eventually intertwine with his, he gives a light squeeze and slides his thumb along the back of jiang wanyin's. )
Perhaps on such inevitable occasions, ( he murmurs, a return smile curling his own lips at the corners ) you might endeavor to delight me enough that more good comes of it than bad. ( more good than bad by wanyin's own standards, even, since xingchen knows all too well that his husband wouldn't allow them to judge by xingchen's own own significantly higher threshold for discomfort or pain. )
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[ He shakes his head in amused amazement but then that smile of his softens and the hand not entangled with Xingchen's reaches for his chin, cupping it gently as he leans in to brush a kiss to his lips. ] Thank you [ he whispers and decides to trust Xingchen will know how many things he is thanking him for, even if he finds it harder to speak bluntly of his feelings.
On the other hand, Xingchen does speak very openly with him... and that reminds him of the other thing he intended to do visiting today. Far less pleasant than fussing over him. He does so hate to worry him, but not telling him about the upcoming mission for the Fourth would be cruel both if he learns it from him only afterward and even more so if something goes wrong and he learns it from someone else. Better to worry him now. He clears his throat awkwardly. ] But there is another thing you need to know.
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but it wasn't a comment intended for such deep consideration. it was an expression of adoration, and the fondness within it sweeps away any semblance of serious consideration like a warm summer tide. xingchen isn't even entirely sure what he's done to earn such incredulity, or how this was any different from that which jiang wanyin has come to expect of him - but it has won him terribly sweet little kiss, so perhaps it's best not to question his good fortune. to the 'thank you,' his throat forms by reflex the hum that might typically convey something like 'of course, airen', though of course it comes out more like the croak of a well-mannered frog. this, xingchen will trust his husband to understand, just as wanyin has done for him. (and he does, most certainly. perhaps xingchen doesn't know specifically what the gratitude is for, but in all likelihood, neither does jiang wanyin. how silly it would be, to try to pick it apart into identifiable pieces, wasting time that they might otherwise spend on such things as kissing again.)
as it turns out, no further kissing is to be had - at least not just yet. instead, wanyin's tone has gone serious, holding himself with a new sort of tension that he may not even quite notice... but xingchen does, of course. just as before, he strokes the back of his husband's thumb with his own, wordlessly soothing despite not yet knowing what for.
'but there is another thing you need to know.' with a slight tilt of his head, ) I'm listening. ( his free hand locates his tea all the while and brings the cup to his lips for a leisurely sip, an idle gesture steeped in normalcy to perhaps diffuse a bit of the unease. )
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This might hurt Xingchen, it might upset him, and he so hates to cause such feelings but... ]
I will be working on something in a couple of days, for the Fourth God. There is a mission, and when they asked for volunteers, I offered my services. They don't have many fighters, and if things turn ugly that could make a difference. [ None of which makes this sound particularly trust-inspiring, he realizes as he speaks, so he hastens to reassure, ] But it is very unlikely to turn violent. Things would have to go very wrong for that to happen. We mean to cause no harm. I just... [ He looks rolls the cup around in his hands some more. ] I wanted you to know. So you don't think I'm hiding things from you unnecessarily. I didn't want to speak of it on the laptop but there is no harm in speaking of it in person with someone I trust.
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but soon the confession(?) is through, and even though he has taken in every word, xingchen can't help but feel as though he has missed something. specifically, he has missed whichever facet of this fairly confession has warranted such hesitation or uncertainty. did wanyin think him so likely to protest this work for his chosen god? they had known such a thing was a facet of pledging oneself to a god in the first place.
and so first he offers a muted hint of a smile, a murmured: ) I'm glad that you've told me. ( a beat of pause, of consideration, and: ) What is it that you seek to do?
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[ He nudges his empty cup around on the table, simply to keep his hands busy. ]
We want some of these vacuums, with which the Haftesal people suck up the fog. There is still a chance we can negotiate with Haftesal for them, and we won't need to steal them. [ A moment's pause, another sigh. ] Although it will be safer for Haftesal if it is at least believed that we took them by force. If this should turn public opinion against us, with so many monsters owing the Haftesal scientists for curing the flower disease, then it is a small price to pay for their safety.
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it's a question which jiang wanyin likely doesn't know the answer to, and one which would certainly overstep his position to challenge the others with at this stage if it were brought to his attention. so xingchen holds his tongue, though his husband can no doubt sense the churning of his thoughts by now. instead, once the explanation is finished, he offers a simple: ) I agree. ( it's closer to proper volume and little more than a crackle because of it, but he maintains that crackle for the remainder of his response: ) I'm relieved that they've planned to avoid harm to Haftesal. ( as much as he, subjectively, would prefer that public opinion not villainize jiang wanyin, a man's choices have consequences, and haftesal should not be left to shoulder them for the crime of innovation. )
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So all he does is nod, accompanied by a tiny smile. ] I'm glad for it, too. They have done us a great kindness with the flower disease. We owe them. [ he takes Xingchen's hands into his own again and gives them a tight squeeze. ] I owe them, for saving your life.
[ If that comes at him facing the scorn of others, well, that won't be anything new either. He will only hope that Xingchen isn't affected for his ties to him. ]
But let us not think about that anymore now. Let us find something more pleasant to do. We could take a walk, maybe, if you are feeling up to it. The forest is nice around this time of the year.