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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, XIAO.XINGCHEN. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 018.07.154.55 *** XIAO.XINGCHEN has joined 018.07.154.55 <XIAO.XINGCHEN> You have reached Xiao Xingchen. <XIAO.XINGCHEN> I am often away from my laptop, but I will do my best to answer as soon as I'm able. | ||||
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simple because of precisely that: it's what he needs. or at the very least, what he seems to think that he needs, and xingchen sees no immediate reason to question that. though it was a bit unexpected (wanyin tends to move closer in moments of unease, not farther away), the insistence on delivering the coins alone was more than reasonable. understandable as well - his companion is shifting forms yet again, and even if the change is voluntary, it's an undertaking with no certainty on the end result. xingchen certainly wouldn't so readily volunteer for his own change to be witnessed, despite having nearly a year of twice-nightly shifts to grow accustomed to it.
and knowing jiang wanyin, part of him surely doubts that they'll have succeeded at all. the notion of choosing to assume a form less monstrous than his own must seem nearly impossible, after being trapped for so long in a crude synthetic approximation of flesh and bone - and at least some part of this distance surely stems from that, from an unwillingness to face xingchen if (somehow, for the first time in their experience) mana's magic fell through.
but despite the sound rationality and, of course, xingchen's prevailing desire to respect his companion's wishes, the distance is still unexpectedly difficult to maintain. so frequently throughout the first two or three days, he thinks to compose a message to jiang wanyin without quite thinking - a 'good morning', a 'sleep well', a random thought which occurred to him and sparked the urge to share - before recalling the boundaries set and deleting the message unfinished.
by the third day, however, xingchen has begun to worry. has something gone wrong? how wrong must it have gone, that jiang wanyin still doesn't get in touch. it would be terribly drastic to worry for wanyin's life, but xingchen can't quite shake the silly
romantic?notion that little short of death could induce such a silence. death or capture, that is - and how has it taken him three whole days to consider that jiang wanyin may have been captured? the circus demonstrated vividly that such a thing is well within the realm of possibility. in fact, xingchen is approximately ten minutes of failed meditation away from looking into that as a real possibility when an alert sounds from his laptop on the table nearby.the message is brief but not quite curt, overall promising in the grand scheme of things - and xingchen spends the better part of a minute with one hand clasped around the other, staying his fingers as he pushes past effusive relief and a variety of other similarly unhelpful things to the more reasonable: ) I'll be just over an hour. ( and that's that.
he arrives at lotus pier right on time, slipping in the gate only to find jiang wanyin training right there in the courtyard. after just a moment's pause, he shuts the gate softly behind him, dipping down to set his bag soundlessly on the stone below. wanyin doesn't seem to have noticed him yet - he trains facing the main hall, for the most part - and for the length of a few practiced forms, xingchen simply observes. admires, really. though he has been present for parts of jiang wanyin's training sessions, he's witnessed none since bartering for his sight, at least not more than a couple of forms before training was abandoned in favor of greetings and tea. now, though, he observes quite appreciatively for the seconds it takes for the forms to steer wanyin back toward the main hall.
this is precisely the point at which a terrible notion strikes.
no, that's not quite true - said notion has been percolating since the moment he realized that he'd slipped in unnoticed. it's precisely why he silently set down his bag... so that now that he has the proper window, brisk, near-silent steps carry him across the space between them, hand lifting to grasp at frostwork's hilt. and when jiang wanyin's next form has him turning back toward the gate, he'll hear the abrupt draw of a blade, and what's meant to be a slice through the air is parried gracefully by frostwork instead.
xingchen takes a half-step back then, giving frostwork a twirl before tucking it up (and at ready, if need be) behind his shoulder. and despite his best attempt to swallow it down, a mischievous smile plays at the corners of his lips. )
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It is the placid surface of a lake with deadly currents beneath - but even this is better than none, and he can make himself look at nothing but the surface.
The snikt of a blade being drawn abruptly attracts his attention, just in time for his sword forms to have him move around and his blade to sweep down in a deadly strike against a phantom opponent. Where there should be thin air stands Xiao Xingchen, his blade lifted to parry his own. Metal hitting metal rings loud in the silence of the courtyard and echoes in his almost-human ears.
He remains standing in place even as Xingchen lowers his sword, his eyes flickering down appreciatively at the elegant twist of his wrist, the blade a natural extension of his arm as he always tells his disciples it should be. The movement ends smoothly with the blade behind his back, and Jiang Cheng extends his own, resting the tip of it lightly against Xingchen's heart while a smirk curls the corners of his lips. ]
Don't you know better than to raise a sword against a sect leader, daozhang [ he says, human voice light with teasing, a honey-sweet undertone of coyness to it. He had never been coy before, never been flirtatious, never even had the voice for it either when his tends to be grating and its pitch better suited to bellowing or nagging. Yet he feels heady and so alive right now and it does not matter anymore what he doesn't do well. ]
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emotion swells abruptly in his chest, filling the space between his lungs - and for a moment, xingchen presses his lips together to keep it from bursting out as some sort of desperately joyful laugh. he should banter back, he knows. wanyin has bantered, and that's his cue to banter back, to tease, to at the very least say something, but such a thing doesn't feel entirely possible at the moment.
instead, he steps closer - yes, into the blade, but that hardly seems consequential when he knows said blade will withdraw rather than wound him - and then one more step brings him close enough to touch.
which is precisely what he does. both hands lift to smoothly sheath frostwork over his shoulder before reaching out to settle on each side of wanyin's face. and despite his best efforts, xingchen can no longer hold back his quiet (delighted) grin anymore. it curves the edge of each word as he asks, ) How do you feel? ( a question which he can at least pretend is practical, when in actuality he just wants to hear him speak again. )
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I feel... [ He trails off, taking his time to sheathe his sword while he mulls about it and feels into himself.
He feels good. He feels like his burden has been lightened. He feels more grounded and more himself than he has in a long time. It is not quite the same as Felfri, having neither his cultivation nor having his humanity back for real still hangs over him, and Jiang Cheng has always been more prone to focusing on the negatives.
But... ] I feel almost human [ he finally declares. Almost because he has promised himself to be honest with Xingchen and he doesn't believe in candying his words or truths. But there is still the same, the relief in his eyes and his voice, and he is certain that Xingchen will be able to read his words as they are intended. He is extraordinarily good at that, after all. ]
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and then, sure enough - 'i feel almost human.' ) Good, ( xingchen declares, but his throat is still so terribly tight with emotion, so it sounds decidedly quieter and more choked than intended. and the moment xingchen hears that, he presses his lips together and swallows hard, nodding a crisp little nod. )
That's good, ( he repeats, his voice much closer to normal this time - and in fact, it takes on a faintly teasing (if still slightly emotional) note to say, ) Because I can't possibly drink all of this wine by myself.
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So he just smiles, a genuine, sweet smile, his head slightly ducked, eyes full of fondness and warmth as they look at Xingchen.
He gives a little laugh, more startled than anything else, and jostles Xingchen with his elbow. ] Of course you can't, because you can't possibly outdrink me! Don't think that I don't recall the past times you were drunk!
[ He drops a hand down to his forearm and hesitates between taking him by the hand or the wrist, finally awkwardly deciding to stick to the wrist. Everything is so much in this newly almost-human body, and he finds himself very aware that he will once again give human tells of embarrassment. ] Come. Now that Mana granted me my prize, there are many things you can't talk your way out of anymore.
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the laugh, meanwhile, is all that it takes to shake loose the grin that xingchen briefly managed to swallow back. his own head ducks aside a tiny bit, a moment of self-consciousness over the foolishness of said grin - but it's short-lived, since the terribly rude elbowing can't go ignored. his gaze flies back up to jiang wanyin's, mouth open in the appropriate faux-indignation (though it's terribly unconvincing, smiling like this) as he considers what might serve as appropriate recompense.
but then fingers settle on his forearm, sliding down to loop around his wrist, and xingchen allows the indignation to lapse to something quieter and more attentive. he tilts his head slightly, a wordless 'wanyin?' and a short moment later, the words do come. )
I'm certain you can't name one thing that I've 'talked my way out of', ( he says, his free hand lifting to the one at his wrist to curl around it, gently peeling it away with an air of apology before giving a slight squeeze and a quiet - ) Just a moment. ( because he's left his bag by the gate, and it's quite difficult to drink wine if one forgets to bring it inside.
he'll retrieve it now, slipping it over one shoulder before returning to wanyin's side - and his wrist is, of course, quite dutifully placed again in his companion's palm. to be led wherever it is that they're settling for the afternoon, but also because this is the first time in quite a while that this particular hand has warm skin instead of cool porcelain and xingchen may or may not be reveling in it just the slightest bit. )
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Well, that is good then that you say you won't talk your way out of anything [ he says, voice loud and obnoxious and so very human, though he is really just buying himself time to distract Xingchen from the touch that is so very distracting to him. ] Because I have all kinds of plans for us. We are going to celebrate, of course. I haven't been able to get drunk since Felfri. I want to eat, too. In fact, I say we drink at the pier, and catch fish. We can roast them. It won't be a proper meal but I have no food at home. And then of course I will teach you proper swimming... though not today, we need to be sober for that. But your form was an eyesore! I can't stand for that.
[ He shoots him a sharp look from the corner of his eyes. ] So you see, there will be plenty of things you can't talk your way out of, and I also expect to see more of you for sword fighting. I need to spend more time practicing to get used again to fighting in this body. The transformation was creeping, over months, I didn't even realize how much all my movements and my sword forms had changed until I was human again.
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he allows his companion to get it all out, to list off all of that which they'll apparently be doing - and when it's done, xingchen hums a thoughtful little hum and shifts his hand within jiang wanyin's, placing them palm to palm as he loosely intertwines their fingers. ) I accept. ( and that's that. ) So was that drinking and then fishing? Or fishing and then drinking? ( it was quite a number of things to keep track of, let alone in which order. )
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We're going to be fishing while we drink! Or drink while we are fishing. Whichever way you prefer to think of it. You are bringing the alcohol and I have already deposited fishing rods by the pier. [ Which, well, yes, he might have been a little bit excited to be spending time with Xingchen. Ridiculously so. But it is after all his first time spending time together in his human body since everything between them changed. Their relationship had been very different last year in Felfri.
His fingers tighten on Xingchen's and he gives him a tug as he speeds up, guiding him to a dock leading towards a pavilion with fluttering curtains to protect from glaring curtains and furniture set out. However, Jiang Cheng isn't aiming for the pavilion but for the dock itself, where fishing rods lay abandoned along with a wooden box filled with the snacks he keeps in the house for guests. ] I thought we could sit and enjoy the view [ he says, a little sheepish now as he has to say it out loud. ] It's not the proper view of Lotus Pier but....
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and so he puts that fleeting concern out of mind, focusing instead on the plan which has been laid out before him - and which his companion seems to have prepared in advance, at that. xingchen can't help the smile which broadens across his lips, still a bit amused but mostly just warmed. endeared. and excited as well, if truth be told. it's not as if their day seems terribly eventful, but if given the choice, that's precisely as he would've liked it: a shared activity, unhurried and uninterrupted, somewhere private enough that wanyin has the space to relax into himself without all of his jiang-zongzhu posturing.
the tug is more than enough to encourage xingchen to pick up his pace as well, allowing himself to be led off down the path toward a rather fine fishing dock and the curtained pavilion which overlooks it. and despite the sheepish note to jiang wanyin's tone (or perhaps in light of it), xingchen wastes no time in assuring, ) That sounds lovely. ( he'll likely be quite rusty at fishing by rod, since he hasn't had need to in quite a while - but that's fine. wanyin can find it in himself be patient with him, xingchen has no doubt of it. )
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[ Nowadays, he has his sect leader's dignity to preserve, so proper fishing rods it is. But that is still fun, especially when shared with someone he likes so very much. He still doesn't release his hands though he has already dragged him to their destination, and just lets his gaze wander over the scenery of the now-familiar Lake Minska. ]
The landscape isn't like the lakes of Yunmeng, and not even the fish are the same, but... [ He presses his lips together. ] I would have you visit my real home, if we had the choice. [ A sharp inhale, shoulders straightening. ] So this will have to do.
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but now they've arrived, and xingchen needs no prompting to admire the lake and landscape laid out before them. though it's more than peaceful enough that one might be able to pretend (if they so desired) that they weren't trapped in the land of a monstrous god, it's still far too foreign to pass for anything like what they might have encountered within their own realm. but even still... 'i would have you visit my real home, if we had the choice.' xingchen shifts, allowing his shoulder to lean just slightly against jiang wanyin's. ) Perhaps a person can have more than one 'real home', ( he says, his 'gaze' still admiring the surface of the lake. ) Only recently have I felt that I had a 'real home' at all. If some go without one, it only makes sense that others might have more than one. ( only belatedly does he realize his potential misstep, and his gaze drops to the dock with a faintly embarrassed smile. ) Which isn't to say that you do, of course. ( he understands quite well how jiang wanyin feels about this realm, how difficult it is for him to stomach. how temporary he intends for his stay to be.
xingchen's gaze lifts to the man beside him. regardless of whether it's home or it isn't, ) I can think of no place I'd rather be at the moment.
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But. But it makes him happy to hear Xingchen say that he wants to be here, or imply that this place has become his home - Jiang Cheng having played a part in that even, it wouldn't be too bold to presume so - and that's not a bad thing, is it? Maybe it is a weakness to need this for his happiness but it still makes him happy all the same. ]
I wouldn't want to be anywhere else either [ he says, studiously keeping himself busy sorting through the alcohol Xingchen had brought, and finally thrusting a bottle at him. ] Here. Weren't we going to celebrate? You have to start drinking.
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next, he's relocating wanyin's hand, if only to turn it palm-up and set the wine therein. that is how this is done, correct? he hasn't brought any cups, and xingchen has observed (in his limited alcohol-based experience) that in the absence of cups, one passes the bottle itself. ) As do you, ( he says, smile renewing to a teasing little grin. ) I won't be an embarrassment all by myself - not now that you can drink properly too.
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It feels different now. Every single touch feels different now that he has this almost-human body - maybe not fully as it once did, but it is so much closer, and so much more intense than what he had felt in his Simulacrum body. It feels so... so intimate, even this tiny touch.
He coughs. ] Well. Yes. Of course. I wouldn't let you be an embarrassment by yourself, of course [ he parrots awkwardly and lifts the bottle obediently to his lips. He takes quick gulps, hoping to hide his mortification behind them. The alcohol burns down its path, sharp and vivid and making him feel very alive. ] I want to see you make a fool of yourself, and then I will mock you with it forever... as it should be.
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then comes, 'i want to see you make a fool of yourself, and then i will mock you with it forever,' and all lingering signs of concern are swept away by a soft delighted laugh. ) You seem quite confident that I'll agree to these terms. ( is he truly so predictable? )
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[ And oh, how eager is Jiang Cheng to be made into a fool now. It has been so long since he has gotten truly drunk in company at home, it simply wasn't appropriate for a sect leader to be seen like that, and he had long since convinced himself he didn't miss the merriment. But his time in a Simulacrum shape had him rethinking many things he took for granted. ]
I will have to teach you, if you don't know how. Are you going to risk that?
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'i will have to teach you, if you don't know how,' jiang wanyin says now, as if issuing some sort of warning. 'are you going to risk that?' xingchen's head tilts just slightly, his response coming in the form of uncorking the bottle and taking another drink of the wine - a more generous one this time, enough so that he lets out a slow and bracing sort of exhale in the aftermath. ) Now, ( he says, ) shall I be receiving that lesson before or after our fishing?
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[ Which... really, amounts to showing him how to make a fool of himself, once Jiang Cheng is properly drunk. There are good reasons why he doesn't get drunk in company. Wine makes fools of all men, and while he is no Lan, he does become foolish when drunk. But that's a problem for tomorrow's Jiang Cheng, just like the hangover.
Still grumbling, he busies himself with preparing the fishing rod and with drinking more of the wine, eventually going back between paying attention to the fishing and drinking and in-between, engaging in idle chatter. It is easy enough to talk to Xingchen - telling him little stories about work and Kulen villagers or the annoying bird that keeps chirping right outside his bedroom window early in the morning. This is nice and easy, and Xingchen's company is always enjoyable anyway. He just has to remember not to think about home or his monster existence so he won't ruin the mood. ]
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( but he does give back the wine, of course. the both of them need to be properly drunk, and hoarding the wine serves a purpose quite opposite that.
oh, but they've begun preparations to fish now, it seems - so xingchen allows his grin to fade to something a bit more appropriately attentive - though it seems unnecessary to have paid much attention after all, seeing as there's just the one fishing rod and it doesn't seem as though he'll be held responsible for managing it anytime soon. which is all well enough, since wanyin seems quite content to fill the air with delightful little stories about the various parts of his life which exist apart from xingchen. about his job, and the troublesome wildlife (upon mention of the quarrelsome bird, xingchen may or may not offhandedly mention that 'i could eat, if you'd like'), interspersed occasionally with commentary about the fishing itself.
for his own part, xingchen begins the fishing endeavor kneeling proper and postured beside where jiang wanyin works (taking it seriously, of course) - but as time passes, he gradually starts to shift. first to the side, seated more comfortably on the dock beside his bent legs instead of atop them, but then comes the pressing need to stretch his legs (they feel as though they've quite literally been bent forever), all of which ends in him lying on his stomach on the dock, boots long since shed and legs bent to cross neatly at the bare ankles in the air above his thighs, chin resting on his crossed arms at the very edge of the dock. he likes it there, at the edge of the dock. it feels perilously like he might fall in, which at the moment is somehow a positive thing, please don't ask for him to explain. he has narrowly escaped being called on to explain anything so far, and in fact, has (by his estimation) done an excellent job in disguising how fantastically tipsy he is by way of speaking as little as possible and doing his very best not to giggle.
(he's doing a terrible job. he's still smiling far too much, his words have the slightest warm haze at the edges, and there is of course the fact that he's lying on his stomach on a fishing dock in a pool of his own billowing robes. let's also not forget his prevailing shoelessness, because that's certainly a choice he's made.) )
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The drink is warm and burns nicely in his belly, and his mood becomes more unrestrained with every time it is his turn to drink. He doesn't need the alcohol to be happy but it's so much easier not to think about the reasons why he shouldn't be happy or carefree, or to refrain from worrying about overt propriety. He can simply enjoy himself and enjoy Xingchen, no overthinking anything.
It is very easy to enjoy him with the smile lighting up his face like this - and yes, Jiang Cheng is well aware that he is tipsy, but so is he and that smile is so very pretty and he finds himself desperately wanting to kiss it, though he isn't quite tipsy enough yet to come out and simply say so.
But maybe he's not so subtle either, sitting now with his legs dangling over the edge and a hand abandoning the fishing rod settle on the back of Xingchen's neck. Maybe giving in to a little bit of petting, which he personally thinks is very stealthy. He scoffs. ] You look dumb down there. If you aren't going to catch anything you should come here. [ What he means with here? He isn't quite sure, except someplace closer. More in kiss-reach, preferably. Yes, that would be good. ]
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but then comes the scoff, the protest, the 'if you aren't going to catch anything-' and oh, was he supposed to? xingchen hadn't realized. if wanyin will give him a moment... xingchen shifts now, his movements smooth and unhurried, to slide a couple of inches closer to the end of the dock so that he can properly see below him - then both arms uncross from below his chin to reach down to the water, into the water, to nonchalantly scoop out a decent-sized fish.
it begins to thrash at once, as if only just now considering that its life may be in peril, and so xingchen wastes no time in rolling onto his side to better offer the squirming fish out to jiang wanyin. ) Will this suffice?
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Well. He may have been distracted.
All of which adds to his surprise when he suddenly finds himself with an armful of flopping fish - and also to the startled squeak with which he receives the offering. He tries to clutch the fish, which is harder than you would think with the fish wet and slippery and Jiang Cheng, you guessed it, distracted. ]
You... What... How did you do that! [ he demands, making a triumphant noise when he finally throws the fish farther onto the dock from where it shouldn't be able to escape again. He gives it a stern look, too. ] Stay right there, dinner!
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it has, and he turns to jiang wanyin in delight. ) You see? I- ah, ( give him a moment, he's just felt something cold and wet just above the small of his back and now he's sweeping his hair forward over his shoulder to wring at the bottom couple of inches between the cloth of his sleeve. ) I have caught something, ( he continues undeterred, ) Which means, I think, that you get to give me the wine now. That seems entirely fair.
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