daozhangs | ic inbox, ryslig.

( it's funny - so many things slip past xingchen at the moment, both his observation and his correct interpretation, and yet there are are other things which the vast unattended plains beyond the forefront of his thoughts seem to collect and assemble unaided to present to him the next chance he might have to see it. that shiver is one of them - just like the gasp when he took wanyin's hand just after arriving. at the time, xingchen worried that he'd somehow hurt him. how silly that had been. would he himself not react similarly, if for once in nearly a year he could properly feel what it's like to be touched?

with the hair brushed away, his hand hovers thoughtlessly there a bit longer, like he might brush it back a bit further or even perhaps touch wanyin's cheek. might earn another shiver yet - because he finds that he likes to do that, wants to do it again - but for the distraction of his partner's tongue in the side of his vision. and then it's gone, but he finds that it's terribly difficult to stop looking at jiang wanyin's lips. they're quite close, aren't they? and now they're moving, saying words that xingchen pays far too little attention to. they don't seem quite as important, the words. he'll apologize, if they were.

but the shift of the wine (or rather, the suggestion that wanyin plans to drink it) is more than enough to call back his sense of place, and he makes to shift back - not depart, simply offer a couple of inches with which jiang wanyin can maneuver the wine in the vicinity of his face - but the wine never arrives. instead a sharp inhale and more words, and these are fantastically important, enough so to stall xingchen's own shifting. 'will you still be not-laughing then?' a teasing 'would you prefer that i laugh?' rises to the tip of his tongue, but his throat's a bit too dry to deliver it, the instigative grin having faded at some unknown point since he finished with his companion's hair.

xingchen swallows around that dry throat, not nearly as subtly as he might have hoped - but that's fine, because now he's ducking in quite definitively to press his lips against wanyin's, firmly at first with the momentum of his somewhat abrupt decision, but after a moment it softens, those hovering fingers finally settling along the side of his partner's jaw. is this answer enough for wanyin's question? or will he have to find some way to elaborate? )

[ He had been brave when that question-demand-threat had passed his lips, bravery fuelled by the bubbly warmth of the wine and the dizzying heat of Xiao Xingchen sitting on his lap and maybe also by how sheer overwhelming everything feels now that he can finally experience human sensation again - by how starved he is to experience more of it after a year in a robot's porcelain skin, starved enough that it is easier to throw caution to the wind and give voice to what he truly wants but would never ask for under normal circumstances.

But he is asking now, if not easily then at least recklessly, and when warm lips touch his own he knows he is being rewarded for it.

It is so much, it feels so much, that for the first moment all he can do is remain still while sheer sensation washes over him. It is not his first kiss, not even his first kiss with Xingchen, but it feels so much longer than it had actually been since that equally reckless kiss in Pirate's Cove. He makes a little noise, a whimper, and there are fingers grasping his jaw, gentle and hot and burning like the lips against his own...

Jiang Cheng may be prone to fretting and catastrophizing, but he has never been one to back down from a challenge.

So he surges forward, pressing in close, a hand going to cup the back of Xingchen's head while his tongue darts out, eager to taste wine and taste him and make him feel even more alive with the sheer dizzying giddiness he feels at their kiss. ]

( it has been a terribly long time since the pirate's cove. far too long, that much is quickly becoming clear as wanyin presses abruptly and enthusiastically into the kiss with a whimper that xingchen at once adds to the list of sounds he'd like to induce again. it's perhaps the first time that a whimper has been any part of the desirable outcome of a situation, but he also has never quite found himself in a situation like this.

a hand finds the back of his head now, as if there were any chance he might pull away so soon - but he doesn't mind it there. even likes it, perhaps, the way that it tethers him here when so few things feel entirely tangible right now. and then comes the brush of wanyin's tongue, and xingchen hasn't the foggiest clue what to do with that but allow his lips to part, the only innate response his body seems willing to offer him. to any of this, really. the actual attempt at kissing is direly inept, a fact which he's only spared the embarrassment of by the wine waging war with his senses. by now he's boldly shifted in even closer so that they're all but chest to chest, his free hand now grasping a handful of the robes at jiang wanyin's side as if to pull him even closer still... and yet despite that almost urgent energy, the kiss itself is more measured - the work of a man who hasn't the slightest idea how to do what he's doing and so he's following (intentional or unintentional) cues instead. and his companion is delightfully helpful, enough so that xingchen has perhaps begun to get the hang of it by the time he finally runs out of breath.

but he does indeed run out of breath (was he holding it? there's a definite chance that he was, apart from the occasional shaky inhale or exhale at any new bit of touch), and so finally he forces himself to break away with a sharper exhale. he doesn't go far, his temple resting heavily against wanyin's forehead with every intention of catching his breath a bit. but he finds that his first heavy inhale goes unexpectedly laugh-shaped, so he's quickly (tipsily) shaking his head against his companion's to deny it before the man has time to object. he murmurs, ) I've just- I've forgotten to breathe, I think. ( there's humor in his tone, but also muted breathless delight, a poorly-suppressed grin already curling the corners of his lips. ) I'll just be a minute. ( the hand releases wanyin's jaw in the meantime to comb back through a bit of his loose segment of hair, apologetic but without any gravity to it. )

[ Oh. Oh, but Xingchen pressing in even closer and shifting on his lap in the process, is nearly enough to make Jiang Cheng choke on thin air. They are pressed flush together now and he burns so hot, everything of him is burning so hot just like his mouth and just like Jiang Cheng is burning hot now with the thrill of the kiss thrumming through him.

Xiao Xingchen may be an inexperienced kisser - not that Jiang Cheng is all that experienced - but every brush of their tongues makes his blood burn. And he is learning. He is learning so fast that Jiang Cheng feels drunk not just on the alcohol by the time Xingchen pulls away to gasp for air. ]

I... Me, too [ he stammers out, his face hot and red. With their foreheads pressed together, they are still so terribly close, and every breath Xingchen takes tickles Jiang Cheng's face. It leaves him reeling, between all of this and the alcohol and his own thoughts racing. He awkwardly wraps his arms around Xingchen's waist to keep him right here and also keep him blessedly still. Because they are still pressed together and as nice and soothing as the hair petting feels, and as nice as it is to have him on his lap, Jiang Cheng finds himself suddenly very aware of how devastatingly disastrous it would be if Xingchen moves on his lap. ] Just stay here. Right here. [ A pause. ] I liked that.

( alas, the 'me, too' is all it takes for xingchen's grin to break through what's left of his willpower, carried forth on a fit of near-silent laughter - because he felt so foolish, but that means wanyin is foolish too, and there's something delightfully funny about the fact that they've made fools of themselves so early in their venture. wasn't that the intended end goal? what are they to do with the rest of the afternoon and evening, if they've already reached their goal?

(he supposes they could keep doing this.)

oh, but then arms wrap low around his waist, and the laughter fades to a quiet, fond little hum. this is nice, this new sort of embrace they've happened upon. in fact, he allows his forehead to lift from jiang wanyin's, pressing a kiss where it sat and then another to the crest of one of his cheeks. 'i liked that,' his companion says, and perhaps he can feel the curve of a renewed little grin against his cheek before xingchen allows his head to dip down, forehead resting on wanyin's shoulder. it's from here that he offers a warm murmured, ) I liked it, too. ( and he's shifting, turning his face just enough to nuzzle up into the side of his neck (it's warmer there) as fingers comb lazily back through jiang wanyin's hair once again. )

[ Oh, they are definitely getting a head start on making fools of themselves, Jiang Cheng has no delusions about that at this point. He finds it utterly impossible to be upset about it, too.

The little kisses have him wanting to squirm from the sheer overwhelming fondness and embarrassment and that warm fluffy feeling in his belly. But he remains so very aware of the not-so-soft and fluffy heat spawned by having Xingchen sitting on his lap and...No. Moving would be bad. Moving would be disastrous.

But then Xingchen is shifting and he makes a nervous little squeaky noise, worried he will start wriggling, too, and his arms wrap tightly around him, pressing him against his chest. Which also may have him pressed firmer against his groin. Oh no. This is why you don't do drunk problem-solving. ] No moving! I said no moving! You're supposed to stay very, very still now [ he chokes out, certain that his face must be bright red by now. ]

Edited 2021-09-12 12:56 (UTC)

( and xingchen, true to form, is entirely oblivious to the nature of jiang wanyin's plight - which makes the urgency constricting embrace perhaps the slightest bit bewildering, not to mention the choked demands. )

You didn't. ( it's more a bemused not-quite-question than an argument. lifting his head from where it rests (even if he doesn't quite call back his sight in order to look at wanyin properly), a wrinkle formed between his brows, and he says, ) You said to stay, not stay still. ( but no, that will just have them debating what was or wasn't said. what he really wants to ask is that which comes a moment later: ) Have I done something wrong? I'm-... Forgive me, things are a bit more difficult to grasp at the moment.

( speaking of grasping, it occurs to him now that he's still got a handful of the robes along jiang wanyin's side, so he releases them of course, smoothing them lightly with a palm as his other hand untangles from his partner's hair to do the same - as if it's so easy to tidy either the hair or the robes, after all of this. )

Edited 2021-09-20 15:10 (UTC)

[ Oh, oh, but why is he stopping all the touches now? He liked being touched and he does not like this new distance (as much distance as there can be, with Xiao Xingchen still sitting on his lap, dangerously close to wriggling against Things he should not be wriggling against.)

But. No forgetting what the problem here is. Hands. The lack thereof.

He scowls and makes an annoyed noise in the back of his throat, and since he is on a roll already, he follows that up with a huff. ] Don't ask stupid questions! You didn't do anything wrong! [ Okay, that came out a little bit more frustrated than intended. Even if he is very frustrated. He thinks for a moment, and scowls for a moment longer, and then he reaches around Xingchen for the wine. ] But if you're not going to keep touching me I'm going back to drinking.

[ And then maybe he will have enough liquid courage to put these hands back where they belong. ]

( oh. that little sound of annoyance shouldn't bother him (and it surely wouldn't at any other time), but it stings a bit strangely now. xingchen feels foolish more than anything - for his misstep, for the misstep of asking if he's made a misstep, and for his general incomprehension of quite what he did to cause this. and he hadn't felt like it was a stupid question, asking if he'd done something wrong (wanyin had, after all, shifted quite dramatically in mood in what seemed like just moments), but the man before and beneath him seems to disagree. mm, perhaps it's best not to have any wine at such times that he might need to understand things. he can certainly imagine how that might test his companion's patience, just as it's doing right now. in truth, it's testing his own a bit as well, but it's quite difficult for negative thoughts or feelings to linger at the moment. a moment's distraction and he'll forget them entirely.

like right now, with the flicker of disappointment he feels that wanyin has released him from the firm embrace. it's carried off a moment later by the distraction of reaching his own arm behind him to locate the wine and guide it to wanyin's searching hand (the least that xingchen can do, after vexing him as he did). and all the while he's listening to this new batch of words, this 'if you're not going to keep touching me threat, and - ) Would you like me to? ( the words slip out before his brain can catch up with them, murmured against jiang wanyin's jawline just below his ear - and though that's partly due to poor depth perception in his current state, he makes no attempt to move away. xingchen would wager that counts as 'moving', which he does know that he's not supposed to do. )

[ His hands falter on the jar of wine he has only just accepted from Xiao Xingchen, barely remembering how to hold on at all in the wake of this... this...

He makes pathetic strangled noises in the back of his throat and rears his head back, feeling his face burn, as if it hadn't been burning all along already. ] You can't just say such things! [ he blusters and finds himself wishing for once that he were still as outwardly unruffled as he was in his Simulacrum body. This human shape has so many more tells, and it is also so much more aware of Xingchen's continuing closeness. Even if he isn't touching anymore, which remains outrageous.

He brings the wine to his lips and takes a large, belligerent gulp before offering it his partner - offering it to him by holding the jar to his lips and tipping it back slightly in invitation. ] If you have nothing to say but shamelessness, then drink.

( so wanyin seemed very much to enjoy the kiss, but then he all but shouted at xingchen as if he made a misstep. but then, of course, he assured that xingchen had done nothing wrong, immediately followed by a complaint over something which xingchen had indeed done wrong. which brings us to now, in which xingchen has remedied that wrongdoing in the form of touch and jiang wanyin has all but recoiled with a terribly displeased sound.

and in truth, xingchen hasn't the slightest clue what to do with that. what to think about it, how to respond. this would be easier with less wine muddying his thoughts, a pleasant feeling earlier when there was nothing of particular importance to comprehend but now it's just... it's unsettling. xingchen is unsettled, and the last place he wants to be unsettled is jiang wanyin's lap. it's supposed to be a delightful place. xingchen realizes he's likely been too still since wanyin shifted away, and he opens his mouth to say- well he's not quite sure what just yet, but he's interrupted regardless by the edge of a jar at his lips.

and he accepts the offered drink, of course, because it's not as though it will make a difference now. he's already dizzy and so ridiculously foolish. and so, after the wine and a slow inhale, he lets out a vaguely laugh-shaped breath that holds just as much uncertainty as it does genuine humor. ) Forgive me - I need to lie on my back for a moment, I think. ( and a hand lifts to steady himself lightly on jiang wanyin's shoulder as he lifts up onto his knees to slip off and sit on the dock just beside him, collecting his leg from across jiang wanyin's lap. and he does indeed shift to lie flat on the dock, because however much it may have been an excuse, grounding himself certainly won't make things any worse. )

[ What? Why is he...? How is he...? What! Jiang Cheng half scowls, half pouts, very confused by this change but also very certain that he does not like Xiao Xingchen leaving his lap - and very confused again on how he is supposed to voice his displeasure without actually admitting to being displeased at all.

He is far too tipsy for such complicated thoughts, really, so he just watches in dismay as Xingchen leaves his lap - leaving his lap cold and alone and tragically abandoned! - and lays down next to him. He hesitates for a moment before draping himself on the dock next to him, mimicking his position. ]

Fine. We can lay here. But I hope you realize when we are laying on our backs, we can't drink. Not without making a mess, anyway. [ Which just goes to show that his lap had been the superior place for Xingchen to be. And his lap still feels tragically abandoned, by the way. And how is also all squirmy and flushed and let alone with these very human feelings that feel startling and new for how long it has been since he had a human body to feel them with (not that he had another person to get quite so close and personal with before, but still.) He huffs. ] I liked it better before.

[ There. That's not admitting to anything, strictly speaking. ]

( soon enough, jiang wanyin has come down to lay beside him - and perhaps it's not so delightful and warm as his lap, but it's closer and xingchen finds that he quite likes when wanyin is closer. it's enough to disperse some of his stormy thoughts (unpleasant feelings are rather flighty for him at the best of times, let alone after far too much wine to keep track of why he felt unpleasant to begin with), to soothe a bit of the formless unease within him.

and so, when jiang wanyin claims that he 'liked it better before,' xingchen shifts onto his side to face him, one arm bent to serve as a pillow. the other hand lifts somewhere at the edge of xingchen's conscious attendance to brush light fingertips along his companion's shoulder and upper arm, a touch which might reasonably pass for the smoothing of wanyin's sleeve. ) You liked which part, exactly? ( the question lacks the gravity which might spell out that feelings have perhaps been bruised in this particular area, but it's also entirely genuine in its delivery. it seems like the simplest way to avoid... you know, all of the nonsense which they've just stumbled around in. )

[ That may seem like the simplest way to avoid it and that much may be true for Xiao Xingchen, but it is not at all true for Jiang Cheng. For him, this means having to own up to specifics of what he liked. Embarrassingspecifics.

He bristles, a defensive scowl already back on his face, though he leans into the small touch rather than leaning away from it. ]

I liked it! Everything. Why do you have to make it so complicated? [ He huffs a little. ] You sat on my lap and now you aren't.

( oh yes, xingchen is most certainly the one making all of this complicated. and yet when wanyin leans into the brush of fingers, xingchen shifts a bit closer in kind so that he might rest his forehead against the outside of his companion's shoulder.

but with it comes, ) But I'm not supposed to ask if you'd like me to sit there again. ( because that's the trouble here - that and, ) Nor am I to simply do so - there's something wrong with that as well, I've forgotten what.

( his fingers have thus far continued their light stroking of jiang wanyin's arm, but they stop now to grab little bits of sleeve as if with intent to tug. and perhaps his prior words may have hinted at something akin to disheartenment, the next carry a faint lilt of fond humor. ) Wanyin, my most treasured friend, I've had far too much wine for games of guessing or having thoughts. Grant me a clue?

[ Jiang Cheng growls his frustration at such steep demands and gives him a baleful look, complete with a finger poking him in the chest. ] You're not the only one who is drunk! Be more considerate! Now you're expecting me to think about my words!

[ He heaves a melodramatic little sigh, which leads to a melodramatic little pout. ] My head is very fuzzy and whooshy and I think I need more wine to fix that. [ Which, said and done, he grabs the closest jar and brings it to his lips for a good, large gulp. ] There. And now you should come closer or I'm not going to share any wine with you. [ Which is clearly a terribly efficient threat, right? It must be. Should be. ] And I won't let you sit on my lap again, either!

( no, no - he's not expected to think about his words, only about what it is that he wants. that's much easier, isn't it? the poke to xingchen's chest earns a tiny pout-adjacent huff of breath, which unknowingly matches the much greater pout on jiang wanyin's face.

and though he truthfully wants no more of the wine at the moment, 'you should come closer' is most certainly clue enough for xingchen. he stills, considering for a moment the best avenue by which to do so - and then the light grab of sleeve becomes a two-handed grip on the arm instead, so that he might lift it up and duck underneath it.

he settles there against the hollow where wanyin's shoulder meets his chest, releasing the arm to wrap around his shoulders or back however it pleases while his own hand rests on the chest in front of his face. and oh, this was an excellent idea. though the expected layers of robe lie between them, the parts of jiang wanyin beneath his cheek and his hand are unexpectedly soft, having so much more give than the porcelain. feeling so much more human. and-...

whatever else jiang wanyin might say goes unheard, at least for a moment. instead, in the next bit of silence comes a soft: ) Hm? Forgive me, I-... Your heartbeat. It's terribly distracting. ( because it's so close to his ear now, and also because it's something jiang wanyin hasn't possessed for much of their friendship so far. belatedly, he tacks on a murmurred: ) And soothing. ( meditative, almost, but for the fact that he's far too intoxicated to meditate. it isn't quite soothing enough to lull him to sleep just yet, but it certainly has the potential to if he isn't careful. )

Oh [ he exhales softly, quiet and flustered, and it would be with reddened cheeks if his face weren't long since red already. It was definitely easier to hide his body's reactions when in his porcelain-encased monster form.

He feels nice leaning against him like this, soft and warm - things which he had always been, and Jiang Cheng can now feel again - and probably so very, very, painfully aware of Jiang Cheng's stuttering heartbeat. Oh. ]

You... [ He clears his throat. ] Yes. Well. This isn't bad. [ So he wraps an arm firmly around him and buries his nose in his hair, while the other still holds on to the wine in at least a pretense of his mind being on drinking rather than on Xingchen. ] This is better than before. [ When he had been laying next to him, which is clearly too far away and should not be allowed. ]

ic inbox, ryslig.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, XIAO.XINGCHEN. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 018.07.154.55 * XIAO.XINGCHEN has joined 018.07.154.55 <XIAO.XINGCHEN> You have reached Xiao Xingchen. <XIAO.XINGCHEN>** I am often away from my laptop, but I will do my best to answer as soon as I'm able.