daozhangs | ic inbox, ryslig.

Was that truly so terrible? I accept. I’ll be there shortly.

How gracious of you.

[ Cue eyeroll. ]

( sorry, he can't hear you over the sound of running through the entirety of a forest to lotus pier's front gates (as one does).

by now in their friendship, he wastes no time in slipping inside, heading to the typical bloodletting room and shifting back to human form where he can dress in privacy. from there he makes his way to the sect leader's quarters, then follows the fresh scent from there to one of the many lakeside piers.

quiet unobtrusive steps carry him up beside jiang wanyin, and he casts his attention off over the lake as if he, too, can see it. for now, he doesn't speak. he doesn't feel any particular need for compulsory greetings, less so now (under the weight of the last week) than ever. the companionable(?) silence is more than sufficient, for the moment. )

[ Jiang Cheng had been staring out onto the lake, trying to find the familiar lakes and rivers of Yunmeng where he could only see the landscape of Ryslig and Kulen on the far shore of the lake - a sight that to a part of his heart felt more familiar and real than the actual home he had grown up in. He remembered enough now of his real life and his real self to feel guilty for these traitorous thoughts.

He turns towards Xiao Xingchen when he picks up the unobtrusive steps, giving him a small nod and an even smaller smile. ]

You got here fast. Are you well?

No. ( a single word carried on a resigned exhale. after a moment, he abandons the facade of gazing out over the lake, lifting his face to the sun a bit. ) But that's alright. ( he doesn't know how one could be expected to be alright, after the week's events - and either they've finally moved past pretending to be alright between the two of them or xingchen himself has. he can't quite tell which, at the moment. )

[ There is a belated jarring moment when it sinks in that this Xiao Xingchen wears a blindfold over his eyes, that he is blind beneath, that he will remain oblivious to the comfort offering by the smile and nod. That this greeting would have been something typical of their interactions in their other life.

He turns his eyes back to the lake and scowls, hands clenching into fists at his sides. ]

I don't think anybody can be okay just yet. [ It's close enough to admitting that he isn't okay either. ]

( xingchen hums a quiet agreement, not quite so inclined toward his usual reassurances. jiang wanyin will have to forgive him his quiet this once. in truth, he was quite a bit more tense before he made his way to lotus pier, but the brisk run here and now the presence of his friend have soothed the simmering tension to a raw sort of ache dulled with more fatigue than he should reasonably feel.

he draws a slow, deep breath, basking a moment longer in the warmth of the sun before turning his 'gaze' on the man beside him. )

Would you like to sit? ( here on the dock, since he assumes that's where jiang wanyin would prefer to be. ) Unless you'd prefer to move indoors?

I don't want to move indoors just yet [ Jiang Cheng says after a moment's deliberation. But standing around here is poor hospitability, so he starts to move towards one of the pavilions located by the docks. Here in Ryslig, the pavilion isn't draped with fluttering curtains as it is at home where the pavilions are properly in use. Here, it is just a drab, empty wooden building, but one which provides seating which puts it one step above standing at the docks. ]

This still isn't the hospitability I would have offered you at home but it's the best I can do. I'm trying to remember what my Lotus Pier at home looks like. [ But when he thinks of Lotus Pier, of home, his head is still crowded with memories of the house in Vandare where he and a Wei Wuxian who is actually a stranger to him had grown up together. ]

Edited 2021-04-02 16:40 (UTC)

( though he doesn't want to move indoors, jiang wanyin does seem to want to move somewhere - he departs without any preamble, and xingchen moves to quietly follow.

he's led to an area he hasn't yet visited, one which (by the scent of it) sees very little use. it's a raised sort of spot with a ceiling at the very least, but the breeze catching xingchen's hair suggests that most of the walls are still open to the lakefront, if it has any walls at all.

for now, xingchen hovers just inside the area, waiting for any cue on where to proceed from here - on whether they're to stand in this new place instead, or to sit somewhere (if his friend seems to sit, xingchen does the same, occupying the adjacent seat). regardless of whether they sit or stand, though, he listens to the half-apology, the quiet confession which follows. and as much as xingchen would like to think he has things sorted well enough in his own mind, the two lives seem to blur a bit more than he realizes - before he can think to stop himself, he reaches out to set light fingertips on the back of jiang wanyin's hand. ) Give yourself time, ( he says, his tone a bit closer to the expected steadfast assurance than before, though he can't quite shake the note of emotional fatigue. ) Whether or not it was real, your memories claim that you lived this other life for just as long as you've lived your own. That's something you'll be sorting through for quite a few days yet, at the very least.

( which, he recognizes, could be the opposite of reassuring - at least until he clarifies his point. ) Your Lotus Pier will return to you. Forcing the matter now only stands to frustrate you. ( here xingchen allows a few moments to pass, a pause to let his words sink in. then he finally caves to the quiet but persistent 'this isn't how things are, in this life' nagging at the back of his mind and reluctantly retracts his fingertips, folding one hand around the other in his lap. )

[ He looks down at the fingers pulling away, his frown deepening a little more at the sight and the pang of disappointment that follows it. There are things that need to be discussed. Things... But not right now. Not when he barely even knows who he is. ]

I know it will return. But I hate the uncertainty. I don't like being in a place that should be familiar and comforting and instead... [ He cuts himself off, jaw clenched tight. Instead of yearning to go home to a place and a life that doesn't exist anymore, at least not for him. Maybe there is some other, more fortunate Jiang Cheng out there whom this life belongs to but it isn't this one. For him, there is only this pale imitation of another Lotus Pier, empty and lifeless, a monument to how utterly cut off from his sect he is here in this place.

He heaves a heavy sigh and shakes his head, irritated with himself and his own glum mood. ] I warned you that I wouldn't be good company.

And yet I'm here. ( the words are simple. to xingchen, so it the intent behind them - that he'll be here regardless of the company jiang wanyin might be. that 'good company' isn't what xingchen comes in search of. faced with the choice between poor spirits here and jovial company elsewhere, still he'd come here.

and though he himself isn't in the best of moods, xingchen 'looks' to the man beside him now to ask, ) You'll tell me if I might help somehow? ( because regardless of his own state of mind, he's more than prepared to do anything in his power to make this at least a little bit easier on jiang wanyin. )

[ He needs to think about that for a while, trying to puzzle out what could actually help, or if there is anything at all. In the end, he gives a little shrug and just shifts, settling himself more comfortably on his seat.

He can still enjoy the lakeside view but in this body of his, the wind that ruffles his hair doesn't feel as it should on his skin. It's far from perfect but Xiao Xingchen's presence makes it better. ]

You help by being here [ he says simply, pointedly keeping his eyes focused on the lake and not the man sitting next to him. ] Just stay.

( 'you help by being here,' jiang wanyin says, 'just stay.' and that answer doesn't quite surprise him, even after so long a considering pause. in fact, he finds that his lips curl a little at the corners, his smile perhaps a little dry and a little tired but otherwise thoroughly genuine. ) I'd meant something I didn't already intend to do, though I suppose that's my mistake for not being more specific. ( he's teasing just a little bit, despite... well, everything.

his attention shifts off over the lake as well now, voice softening now to just above a murmur. ) I'll stay as long as you'd like. ( in case he hasn't quite made it clear. not 'as long as you need', because jiang wanyin hardly needs him, and xingchen certainly isn't here out to dutifully meet an ailing man's needs or anything of that sort. this benefits the both of them - or at least, he hopes it does. and he'll stay for as long as his company pleases wanyin. )

But what you are doing is already what I want you to do. [ This is what I want and need of you, he would maybe add if he were more inclined to putting such things into words. But putting his heart on his sleeve doesn't come easily to him - at least not doing it on purpose, he only does so when his emotions betray him - and so he keeps silent.

What he does instead is scoot a little closer towards Xiao Xingchen and nudge him with his shoulder, then simply remain right there in his space, shoulder to shoulder. ] This is good. You could tell me another story. Like the ones from your books. [ He swallows hard. ] In the other world. [ The first tentative acknowledgment of just how close they were there. ]

( though he retracted his own touch as a courtesy, the brush of shoulders has been initiated by jiang wanyin - and that makes all the difference, really. this one, he allows himself to lean into just slightly. enough to reciprocate, to show that such a thing is welcome, because it is.

'you could tell me another story, like the ones from your books.' it's a suggestion he didn't quite expect, and were he capable, he'd be blinking as he adjusts to the reality in which he'll have to follow it through. (of course he will. how could he possibly not?) xingchen's next exhale carries a quiet, bracing sort of chuckle. ) I could, ( he says - slow, bracing here as well, but his voice is a bit more resolute when he says, ) I will.

I'll just need a moment to come up with one. ( xingchen has never been especially creative, and right now he's drawing a bit of a blank on possible stories that aren't just thinly-veiled retellings of all of that which is on his mind right now. tales of a man to whom the world feeds lie after lie about who he truly is. the one he treasures most prefers him that way - prefers the lie. but he has never been good at lying, only ever at believing them, just as he's never been good at crafting up make-believe stories to tell. )

[ He hums his acknowledgment at that, quietly happy with the acceptance of what touch he has initiated and content enough to wait for his story... And also willing to offer a little bit more of his own, maybe, so he suggests, ] Or I could tell you one. But I'm not much of a storyteller.

[ This is not strictly true. It's just that his stories are all of the educational, cautionary sorts to be told to juniors who need to be schooled on the dangers of night hunts. Plus the noble history of Yunmeng Jiang, who to be passed on to younger generations the best he can, since there are no elders to share them. ]

I'm a sect leader. I don't tell stories to entertain. [ But if Xiao Xingchen wants to hear about the founding of Yunmeng Jiang or all the gruesome ways foolish young juniors will get themselves eaten in the woods if they don't listen better, he can do that. ]

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