daozhangs | ic inbox, ryslig.

I hadn't. What are your thoughts?

I think it could have merit. I want to explore the idea more.

I asked the Fourth God on his announcement whether he would let people stay, for a price.

I want to ask on the network what others think of this.

But. It would mean an end to the hunger.

At what cost?

I'd prefer we know before we properly entertain the idea - but it does have promise. I'll speak with Runyu about it.

I would be willing to do as he asked, and deliver priests of the Day and Night God to him.

I'm sure he wants them for his own purposes, but it is still a chance at survival if they prove themselves smart and useful to him.

I suppose I was wondering more about the potential cost to us? Though the present within this realm is unpleasant, by now it's mostly knowable. The past may absolve us of the hunger, but we don't yet know what other consequences may come of being so far from the Fog God of the present, or of the end of the war from which we're drawing the Day and Night God priests.

Maybe we would weaken and lose our monster powers, without regaining our own. My monster form doesn't have powers useful for fighting, but I know that is different for others.

But it would be less of this existence here.

I know it's cowardice. I have a war to fight here and a god to kill. I promised I would night hunt with you, when we were younger. But I am tempted, too.

The war is not yours alone, nor is the duty to end it.

( which sounds like a defense of the idea, he knows. in truth, he still doesn't know enough about the ramifications to support one route or the other. if the cost is truly just that - to withdraw from this war (if only to join another), and to lose the powers which one gained here - it may be worth it. even with the loss of the fox form which he has admittedly grown a bit fond of. the loss of his enchanted sight, as well. )

One could assume that death would hold permanence there.

( they make a concerted effort to avoid dying as a general rule, but that's nonetheless a weighty thing to sacrifice - and one which jiang wanyin may not have thought of. )

I made it my duty when I said I would see it through to the end. Now I'm considering to run away from the duty I chose for myself. Let's not mince words. You don't need to coddle me by calling it anything else but cowardice.

A permanent death would be a blessing compared to your soul dying bit by bit here with every death.

You know as well as I that I’ve not coddled you once since we’ve met.

We are not always built for the battles we choose, especially those chosen in ignorance. You chose this battle in ignorance, with little understanding of this realm or the roots which she has hidden under nearly every inch of the peninsula’s soil.

This doesn’t mean that you’ve chosen incorrectly. You wish to save the world. How could I possibly argue with that?

I only meant that you and I are not cultivators here, and this war is far greater than both of us. We’re inconsequential, as we currently are. I think that we can remedy that, but I’m not yet certain - and by the time I am, this option will have closed to us.

So no, I don’t think it cowardice to consider it. It’s only practical to do so now when such a choice can be made at all.

That is very kind of you to say.

I can always trust you to see me in a better light than I see myself.

I don't think it should matter how much I knew about the battle I agreed to fight, since I still chose it for myself. But yes. I thought I was prepared. But I underestimated the kind of long-term war it would be. That there is no progress at all.

There is progress. We may not be gaining ground, but neither is she. A year ago, you spoke with me from a warehouse in Bavan where you'd fed for the very first time, and and you felt hopeless in the face of all of that which was beyond your control.

But it wasn't. Now your body is your own again, and we sustain it without the need to kill. You are so very far from the monster she tried to make of you. I couldn't ask for a better example of progress, and that fact stands whether we stay in the present or attempt to forge a life in the past.

Maybe. You aren't wrong. The things you say aren’t wrong.

Maybe it isn't completely hopeless or bleak.

But I find it hard to wage war at this pace. It was easier even during Sunshot. I had my martial brothers and sisters, who fought at my side and shared my goals. We all wanted vengeance. It was a slow and grueling war but at least we were fighting it!

So it seems that we have two paths ahead of us.

Down the first - assuming that further digging uncovers nothing more alarming than that which we already know - lies a strategic retreat into this realm's past. We will certainly weaken there. I'm not positive you'll still find yourself able to access your human form, and we've spoken already of the renewed permanence of death. But the hunger will no longer plague us, nor will that Ryslig's mankind view us in so negative a light.

Should we take the other path and remain where we are, it's becoming quite clear to me that we cannot continue as we are. It was by necessity that we scaled back our efforts to first fight the war within us - but you've won that war, and I'm working to secure my own victory as well. It's time that we set our sights a bit higher.

I've thought quite a bit about my plans, when such a time came. I have a number of ideas. Perhaps some of them might become our plans, or we might come up with new plans altogether.

That is, if we do stay.

I would like to hear your plans, if we do stay. I know there are points where we disagree, regarding our handling of this conflict and the life here, but I can promise I will listen.

You deserve as much, both as my husband and my friend.

And. I suppose I should thank you. For treating my attempt at cowardice as a serious matter instead of dismissing it out of hand as fanciful thinking.

And to think, you once thought that you didn't know how to be kind.

( forgive him, ~~"husband"~~ something about what jiang wanyin said has sparked a terrible rampant fondness in him, or at least a more pressing one than that which he already contained. )

[ Eeek! Now how is he supposed to handle fondness? It always flusters him. ]

Don't say such embarrassing things!

I'm not being anything. Just considerate. We are married!

I'm pleased, at least, that you find having married me less embarrassing to speak of than the implication of kindness.

[ !!! ]

That's not what I meant!

Or

Yes

But not like that!

You know what I meant!

I do.

Why are you teasing me then!

Affection, mostly.

Though my words were genuine. I am pleased.

Oh. Well. Why didn't you say so!

Forgive me, I'll take care to make myself more clear in the future.

Do so. Or I will have to keep shouting!

I shall be quite impressed if you manage it, with your lips occupied elsewise.

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