daozhangs | ic inbox, ryslig.

It is spicy, yes, but even if you are used to bland foods you could learn to appreciate it. Spicy food isn't just hot, it is very flavorful, too. Besides, my mother's sect eats spicier food.

When I was a child, my older sister's soup was my favorite. It was our comfort food, and it's not even a spicy dish. But you'd probably be thinking of everything lotus if you're speaking of typical Yunmeng Jiang food. Soup, tea, you can fry the roots too or eat the fresh seeds as a snack. The leaves make good wrappings when you're using the bamboo steamer. Contrary to popular belief, it's not all we eat. Just give me a roast fish and I'll be happy as long as it's freshly caught, though I wouldn't turn down fish noodles or fish cake either.

[ Is he stalling? Yes. Absolutely. But it's better than to think about what happened tonight, even if he is sure he wouldn't be able to stomach any of these dishes he's talking about right now. ]

All of these things sound wonderfully delicious. Have you found any lotus here?

Not yet, but I mentioned it to Majima Goro and he told me he would look for it, too. He knows his way around Bavan better than I do.

Ah, you know Majima Goro as well. He does seem like a a man who would know where such things can be found.

( in fact, he's the precise man xingchen himself planned to contact regarding funerary supplies. quite a small world they've found themselves in, however large it may sometimes seem.

but that seems to be winding down that topic, and while xingchen is more than capable of stalling further (and fully intends to, at that), he can't help but ask: )

Is it warm enough, where you are?

( because though the sun will surely rise and warm the day soon enough, the pre-dawn air creeping through the fractionally-open window to xingchen's left is quite a bit chillier than he personally prefers to be out in. )

No. But to what I'm becoming, the temperature shouldn't matter anymore, should it?

[ Except it does. He is cold. And wet. And tired and miserable and aching from his raging and the tension that had gripped his body all night. ]

Perhaps, but it matters now. I don't suppose you'd let me deliver you blankets, but know that I'm folding a pair of them to leave on the couch in case you do find your way here.

( he's also going to get up and put on tea. even if jiang cheng doesn't drink it, holding a mug (delightful things, these mugs, even if they feel egregiously large compared to traditional teacups) of hot liquid should do wonders for cold hands. )

Are you still insisting to keep your door unlocked? That's going to get you killed one of these days. Bavan is a dangerous city.

[ So maybe he shouldn't force him to keep his door unlocked by refusing the hospitality? ]

One can only presume you'll lock it on your way in.

[ Jiang Cheng isn't even going to deign to respond to such presumption.

No, he keeps licking his wounds until he is well ready to leave and then he makes his way to Xiao Xingchen's apartment, quietly letting himself inside in the morning hours.

He is careful to make as little noise as possible both in case Xiao Xingchen is asleep and simply because he doesn’t want to deal with admitting his defeat. Not that he would expect him to be the gloating sort but pride is what it is.

Jiang Cheng makes for a bedraggled sight, having no longer been in any state of mind to ensure he wouldn’t get wet and tired and teary-eyed to boot. There is even a defeated slump to his shoulders which he so rarely permits himself but it might be alright to show it to a friend. ]

Edited 2020-08-28 16:49 (UTC)

( a minute passes, then another. no response. xingchen isn't entirely sure what it is that has happened. perhaps he overstepped. conversely, perhaps he has already given up and begun the however-long trek to where xingchen is staying.

he considers sending a follow-up, on the off chance that something has occurred and jiang wanyin is in worse shape than he realizes, but if the man contacted him out of the blue just after it happened, xingchen doesn't doubt that he'd do so again (much less out of the blue, after all this) if he needed to.

and besides: he has preparations to make.

the former-daozhang has made his careful, steady way all across this vast and winding city, and it has been an experience for certain. it isn't the first time he has navigated the streets, nor even that he has done so with a destination in mind, but now he's paying attention to time as well. xingchen left a note on the counter-top for jiang wanyin to make himself at home and help himself to the tea and blankets, and that xingchen should be back very briefly. fortunately, he manages to make it back before such a note is even necessary, so it's discarded for now on his way to check and make certain the tea is still warm.

when jiang wanyin arrives not terribly long later, he'll find xingchen sitting at the table meant for eating meals. a tidy assortment of rice papers sit before him, one pile blank and unaltered and two more neat piles cut into form - mostly talisman-sized rectangles, but four (he isn't sure how many lives were lost, so his estimate may be too high or too short) have been carefully cut into the approximation of a lotus flower.

it's the lotus pile that he has directly before him now, along with black paint, carefully inking script along the paper with a slim paintbrush. joss papers can't simply be blank, after all. then they're simply papers.

he hears jiang wanyin arrive, though he makes no indication of it aside from the faintest welcoming curve of his lips as he finishes inking the current line. then, ) There's tea on the stove. I've left you a mug. ( his own mug sits nearby, largely untouched in his focus. )

[ Jiang Cheng mutely takes in the sight of Xiao Xingchen sitting at the table, and as he steps closer, he realizes exactly what exactly he is working on. He swallows hard, his reddened eyes wide and startled. It is just... it is so thoughtful of him and he doesn't even know where to begin.

So all he does is choke out a quiet ] thank you [ before he makes his way to the stov to pour himself a cup of hot tea. His hands tremble as he pours and keep trembling as he clutches the cup with both hands. It's too hot but the pain is a counterpoint to the numbness he feels so he welcomes it - a sign that he still has some human weaknesses and sensations, he isn't all machine yet to whom hot or cold makes no difference.

Quietly, he sits down across from Xiao Xingchen and watches him, still cradling the cup of tea. ]

Why? [ he finally asks quietly. Why would he go to such lengths to help, why would he care at all. ]

( for his part, xingchen lets his guest work through the arrival process at his own speed and with as much privacy as he can offer (in the form of keeping his attention on his work).

the 'thank you' gets a proper (if small) smile, and xingchen nods with a quiet hum of acknowledgment. then jiang wanyin heads off to fetch some tea, bringing it back to sit opposite xingchen instead of moving to occupy the couch where his blankets await.

'why?' his answer this time takes a moment, all of his attention on finishing the line of careful script on this last paper lotus - but then he sets it aside to dry, and as he reaches for the talisman-shaped slips he tilts his head slightly. ) I told you that I'd gather supplies. ( he gets the feeling that this isn't quite the question being asked, but he isn't entirely positive what the real question is and jiang wanyin will need to be slightly more specific if he'd like a better answer. )

[ Jiang Cheng aims for a vaguely annoyed grunt - it actually comes out a staticky crackle but it still gets the point across. That's not much of an answer, but then again he also hasn't voiced much of a question. Fair enough, maybe. ]

Why are you helping me? [ he asks again, voice no sharper but a little more insistent now. He frowns a little, for that is still not the question he wants to ask. ] You're going well beyond what anybody could expect or ask of you. [ He gestures vaguely at the table and all that has been laid out on it. None of this would have been hard to acquire at home but here? He can only imagine the lengths Xiao Xingchen would have gone to for it. ]

( it's true, he did put in a decent amount of effort to gather such supplies, but at no point did he consider it undue. but of course jiang wanyin is unused to receiving gestures of friendship, and of course he finds himself weighing the effort against all that he thinks he has or hasn't done to deserve it.

xingchen is quiet for a long moment, painting a line of script. then, ) Perhaps it is. ( a beat as he reaches out to dip the tip of his brush in the paint, returning to his lines of script, albeit slower now that he speaks at the same time. ) It's true, you would never have asked or expected it. You would have stomached the rites without incense or joss papers, and you would have walked away feeling as though you've insulted their memory rather than honored it.

( that slip of paper is set aside to dry, and he claims the next from the pile. ) Forgive me - that wasn't a proper answer, not to the question you asked. In truth, I'm not sure I have one which would satisfy you. I help because I consider you a friend. I help because you are strong and kind-hearted and you deserve more than to question such things over that which was done was beyond your control. I help because I meant what I said, that I won't allow my own absolution until you've found yours as well. Choose whichever sits best with you. ( and he starts in on the script of this new slip of paper, leaving jiang wanyin to consider his words. )

[ Jiang Cheng sits there, quiet and a little bit sullen at having been seen so keenly. Yes, he would have walked away and felt the pain of it, and he hadn't expected that Xiao Xingchen would already perceive him so well.

He looks down at his hands, folded on the tabletop on top of his sheathed sword. ] I'm none of the things you say about me. You don't know me very well, if you asked anyone at home they would tell you something very different about me.

[ No, that's not right either, that's ungrateful, he shouldn't hide from... he doesn't even know what he is trying to hide from. Can you seek to hide from too much kindness?

He bows his head in solemn gratitude. ] What I mean to say is: Thank you.

( xiao xingchen is a man who by no means hesitates to show positive emotion, but beyond such things as sympathy and calm stern anger, he is never quite so free with the less pleasant sort. and so when jiang wanyin pushes an abrupt bit of distance between them with his 'you don't know me very well', xingchen's lips merely press to a subtle line for a moment, the lines of the script under his brush going that much more careful and precise. it's true. he doesn't know him well, and it's discourteous to act as though he does. it's something he needs to be more careful about in the future, because he never wants to overstep with the only proper ally he has found here thus far. (you see? he's not even saying 'friend' anymore, quite a bit more courteous already.)

the rest of the words, however, are less true. he said that jiang wanyin is strong and kind-hearted, and he doubts he could find a single person back in their homeland who would dare deny jiang-zongzhu's strength. as for his kind heart... well, of course others would say differently. his reputation as sect leader depends on it. but xingchen recalls the smile with which he complimented the daozhangs' 'kindness in saving the world' - it was something he valued, at the time. and even now, xingchen has received nothing but kindness from the man, however rough the edges of that kindness can be.

but he doesn't plan to argue the point, since it clearly isn't his place, and so he lets the words sit in silence as he finishes up one more joss paper slip. he has only just claimed the next when more words come - a correction, an expression of gratitude. his lips curl just slightly, acknowledging the words without drawing further attention to them. instead, he offers a considering: ) These should be ready within the hour. I've not yet figured out where we might undergo the rites. ( indoors seems ill-advised, what with the burning, but outdoors is loud and not at all private. )

[ He has clearly said something wrong, has misstepped - as someone who is very quick to withdraw and pull up his walls, Jiang Cheng is very sensitive to others doing so, and he can read something very familiar in Xiao Xingchen's body language and the painstakingly neat brushstrokes. He averts his eyes, teeth gritted; feeling a measure of regret but not enough to make him overcome his pride and apologize. That would be asking for far too much, most of all when he is feeling as raw as today.

So he decides to simply move on, and Xiao Xingchen seems to be thinking the same thing, what with his small change of topic. Jiang Cheng ducks his head in quiet gratitude though the man won't be able to see it. ] We could find a park, or we could leave the city. There is a forest and a lake to the west of the city, it's a quiet enough place. Peaceful. I don't think many people visit it. [ Well, not comparatively, anyway, not compared to how crowded Bavan itself is. It might be the best they can do without travelling far. ] I... I owe you thanks. Again. It is kind that you would go with me.

( a forest and a lake both sound much better than trying to do this in the ambient chaos of bavan proper, and xingchen would enjoy a walk in fresher air and quieter scenery. but ultimately, the choice isn't up to him. these are jiang wanyin's dead to mourn, and they'll perform the rites wherever jiang wanyin thinks they should be performed.

now comes a second 'thanks' in less than a minute, but this time he's smiling more properly even as he shakes his head a little. ) You owe me nothing. As for where we perform the rites, I leave that to you. Is there a place which resonates to you? One which feels right?

ic inbox, ryslig.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, XIAO.XINGCHEN. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 018.07.154.55 * XIAO.XINGCHEN has joined 018.07.154.55 <XIAO.XINGCHEN> You have reached Xiao Xingchen. <XIAO.XINGCHEN>** I am often away from my laptop, but I will do my best to answer as soon as I'm able.