daozhangs | ic inbox, ryslig.

Good. Because you'd be wasting your time waiting for me to talk about it. [ Which is as much as a confession, isn't it? He sighs. ] I won't say that it has been easy. The change and... other things that happened. But I don't even want to think about it now.

[ Except he can't exactly ignore the state of his hand, at least. Even the porcelain was better than having exposed what lays underneath. ]

You need to worry about your own changes. Don't bother yourself with mine. You're too nice.

( though the words were meant entirely as an effort to allow the conversation to drop, it doesn't rest quite so easily as he expected. and so he listens wordlessly, to both what's said and the tone in which he says it. such things are much more clear than they might have been before the change, enough so that he even catches the sigh without difficulty. if only it were so easy to see the silver lining to such sharpened senses once he ventures beyond this bathroom, but the world is so terribly loud and full of strong smells, it has mostly just added one more layer of stimuli to his overwhelm.

'you need to worry about your own changes,' jiang wanyin says now. 'don't bother with mine. you're too nice.' ) Perhaps I am, ( he says, words still carefully enunciated even as he grows slightly more used to speaking around his new mouthful of teeth. he doesn't think it has anything to do with being nice - if anything, it's selfish, since jiang wanyin's distress brings him far greater unrest than his own and he'd like to do all that he can to remedy it. but now isn't the time to argue over nuance. ) And yet here I am, worrying over you. I suppose you'll just have to accept it. I hear that I'm quite stubborn when I wish to be.

( but after even what little jiang-xiong has said on the topic of his own last few days, he does have to ask one last thing before it rests: ) Are you alright now? ( however taxing this fog has been. )

[ Jiang Cheng gives an amused snort and there's more of these eyerolls of his, this one he even believes to be somewhat for his benefit as it might be audible in his voice when he mutters ] yes, yes, you are stubborn, I've noticed. Insufferably so.

[ And he's glad for it, he doesn't know how he would have gotten through his first kills if it hadn't been for Xiao Xingchen's stubbornness. He can only hope the man knows, since he's not sure if he will ever be able to find the right words for it. ]

I'm better off than you now, so that's got to count for something, right? [ A pause, a sigh. ] No, no, I'm as alright as I'm going to get now. I will just have to get used to these changes.

( oh, xingchen knows. they may not have spoken of that particular facet of things, but jiang wanyin is a stubborn man. he wouldn't have shown up at xingchen's door in the first place if he didn't need to, or if it wouldn't at least help in some pressing and significant way. not to mention the way that jiang-xiong thanked him twice in less than a minute. suffice to say that he recognizes the gravity of his role in that particular incident.

it's part of why he's not allowing himself to regret this too terribly. to regret jiang wanyin showing up here, seeing the mess he's made of his living area.

the reassurance that his friend is at least all right as he could possibly be is all that xingchen truly asks for, at this point. 'i will just have to get used to these changes.' ) As will I.

( even if it seems insurmountably difficult to even consider. things are fine right at this moment, with the soothing distraction of company and the fact that he hasn't tried to navigate even somewhere so limited as his apartment in a good bit of time, but that's not sustainable. he will have to adjust to this.

and not just physically, either. he'll have to come to terms with at least a couple of people seeing his new form, even if just to get supplies by which to live. and he can't hide away forever, so he'll have to... what? he'll have to get new clothes, longer robes to hide his lengthened legs, trousers which fit them and, ah - tie along the back, so there's room for his apparent tails. and perhaps if he gathers a hood and a mask- oh, but what of his hands? any gloves which fit him now will make it horrifically obvious that he is no regular overly-tall human.

he huffs out a frustrated breath, then realizes it was probably loud enough to be heard. ) I confess that I'm struggling to figure out where to go from here, ( he admits before he has time to be questioned. a beat, and then with a note of dry humor that belies the precise frustration he huffed over, ) I have few allies thus far, and how many will continue to be so if I only address them through my bathroom door? ( or his front door, or his laptop if slowly and carefully, but the point stands. )

I... I don't know. [ It's a quiet but no less frustrated admission. He really doesn’t like to think about how helpless they all are here, victims to these changes as if they are caught up and swept away in a tsunami. ] It's hard to imagine how your life will have to change or what adjustments you need to make when I don't know what you look like.

[ There's no judgment in this, right now not even much impatience. It's just a matter of fact. Jiang Cheng is used to people coming to him for solutions for their problems not for comfort or commisseration - but he can't help with solutions if he doesn't know what the situation is. ]

The network will serve you well enough while you hide, at least. Most of my communication with other monsters goes through it since I live so far away.

( yes, the network will serve him well enough. assuming, that is, that he's always impossibly careful to enunciate each and every word, as if there wasn't already a bit of a barrier in needing to convert voice to text in the first place.

but he certainly won't complain. these laptops are far more of a luxury than they had in their homeland. the fact that he currently struggles to utilize his own doesn't make it any less of a boon.

what eventually comes is another quiet confession. ) I don't know what I look like, either. ( and not simply in the 'because he's blind and literally can't see it' sense. it feels as though he's lost some critical bit of context in understanding the construction of his own body, and now it's all foreign and bewildering to him. ) My teeth are... much sharper, and too numerous now. ( his words are a bit slower now, a quiet yawning dread nesting within him at revealing his monstrosity - but the way jiang wanyin has described it, it feels almost practical to do so. at the very least, he can explain it in a way that spares jiang-xiong the horror of how such changes came to be. )

My fingers are clawed now, and my palms are... thicker, I'm not sure how to explain it. My ears have grown longer, and I believe they have fur. ( he doesn't yet realize it, but his shoulders and upper arms have fur as well. ) My legs... ( his lips press together for a moment, but he can't just leave it there. ) Are different, as well. Too long. Jointed in ways that they shouldn't be.

[ Well that... It gives some context, at least, even if Jiang Cheng has a difficult time piecing all these individual traits together into a picture that makes sense to his frame of reference and doesn't simply end up looking like one of toddler Jin Ling's mishappen scribbles.

He also tries to ignore his deep discomfort, and this he struggles even more with. It's different seeing this happen to someone from his own world, someone who he has known before, at home... It feels like he has failed him somehow, like he as the first and highest-ranking cultivator here should have found a way to prevent this change - and yes, he knows it's an unrealistic expectation but even so the failure stings deeply. ]

It sounds like you have become something that is meant to hunt humans for their meat [ he says bluntly. When in doubt, focus on the facts. That's all you can do when a night hunt is going awry, too. No time to lament. ] Do you have fur anywhere else on your body? Most monsters are some kind of animal creature but every animal can only become one kind of monster. If we could narrow down the animal it would be easier.

( it was pragmatism that carried him through, in his list of that which is incorrect, and the fact that jiang wanyin's response is equally practical is that little bit more weight off of his shoulders... even if the contents of said answer aren't reassuring. he is meant to hunt humans for their meat. if the hunger he has yet to properly begin to feel does end up overcoming him, he's built to tear them piece from piece, not simply run them through with a sword as before.

he exhales slowly, knees lifting so he can press his forehead to them, which really just serves to remind him of his misshapen lower limbs but at the very least he has the mercy of not having to look at them while he breathes away the sudden nausea over the concept of tearing a man apart. clawing him apart, ripping him apart with his teeth, because that's what those are for, right? it clearly is.

'do you have fur anywhere else on your body?' he processes the question a second belated, his churning thoughts grinding to a halt to switch gears back into some form of practicality. does he have fur? ...aha, he has forgotten perhaps one of the most ridiculous parts of this. ) I have - ( oh, that was muffled into the space between his chest and his knees, so he lifts his head now and clears his throat a bit. ) I have... tails it seems. They do have fur. ( a thoughtful pause as he does a preliminary fur assessment in a small handful of other spots. ) My shoulders, as well. Maybe more of my back. It seems to travel down my arms some.

[ Jiang Cheng remains blessedly oblivious to the deep crisis he has caused with his assessment of Xiao Xingchen being a meat-eater - if he had not, he might have pointed out that this is actually a blessing, since corpses are so much easier to come by than souls.

Instead, they're talking fur, and he finds himself quite puzzled by the mention of tails. ] Did you just say tails? As in, more than one? I don't think I've come across a monster with a number of tails yet. That's strange. [ He harrumphs a little. ] Animal monsters seem to be rather faithful depictions of some ordinary animal, for the most part. I wonder if you are an animal from another world, where this is normal.

( to be entirely fair, it's less that he caused the crisis and more that xingchen has been in a state of crisis since the fog began and jiang-xiong briefly ceased to alleviate it.

as for the tails... ) Yes, more than one. Give me a moment. ( jiang wanyin will hear shifting against the door, the sharp clicking that can possibly now be identified as clawed hands setting on the floor to push himself up onto his knees so as to hike up the back of his robe to try to gather the tails and take stock of them. they're a bit unruly, what with their quantity. he doesn't hate them so terribly in and of themselves, they're quite comfortable to sit on, but they make all of his clothing impossible to properly wear. ) Four of them. The longest one nearly reaches where my ankles once were. The fur there is - ( fluffier. ) - longer, it seems.

Edited 2020-09-08 00:42 (UTC)

Four tails [ Jiang Cheng echoes incredulously and no, he is absolutely convinced by now that this can't be a normal animal. Not even for an animal from another planet. ] At least it's not nine? [ he quips ever so helpfully.

He leans more fully against the door with his full weight, and thuds his head back against the wood. ] If you were to let me take a look, maybe we could figure out what animal you are mimicking. [ Not that he's actually convinced this would help them but it's all he's got. ]

( it's true - this is significantly easier to manage than nine whole tails, so there's a silver lining in itself, he supposes.

but that fades quickly as jiang wanyin - knocks once? no, he's just leaned more solidly against the door, his voice is a bit closer now. closer and suggesting he let him see. there's a lengthy pause, heavy and slightly tense. everything in xingchen still vehemently rejects the concept of being seen like this, but now there's this practical argument in its favor and he isn't certain what to do. )

I've only my under-robe to wear. My trousers no longer fit me. ( as if his modesty is truly the concern here. in fact, it feels almost like a lie to pretend it is, so he swallows hard and follows up with a slightly quieter, ) I'm grotesque. There's no need to burden you with that.

[ It's obvious that Xiao Xingchen's words are fuelled by deep anguish and Jiang Cheng isn't without pity for that. In fact, he does feel a little sick to the stomach as he thinks on how he is the last person who should suffer like that.

It doesn't stop him from giving a derisive scoff. ] We have all been twisted into something grotesque. Do you think that makes you special? [ He looks down at his hands, the fingers are still bare metal and wire while the palm is covered by porcelain once more. ] I'm already burdened.

( another pause, this one not quite as heavy but just as tense. as though they're balanced on a precipice and it's up to xingchen which way they decide to fall. sightless xingchen, who cannot see which direction offers a softer place to land.

he supposes he'll just have to trust. )

Give me a moment. ( a concession, with the faintest note of despair. then there's the sound of claws on bathroom tile again, and shortly after, the bathroom sink turning on. washing his mouth and chin just in case any of the times he's bitten his tongue or lip have left blood there, washing his gruesome misshapen hands for good measure. he fixes his thin inner robe, righting it as best it can despite the surplus of anxiously-shifting tails bulging it awkwardly at the back.

a hand lifts, fingertips brushing along the tips of his foremost teeth where they peek out from under his lips. he can close them entirely if he needs to, but his new teeth are horrid bulging things and he can only imagine it makes his whole lower face look terribly swollen.

jiang wanyin will hear the faucet turn off now, claw tips clicking lightly against the door a good two or three seconds before xingchen says, ) Move back from the door now. ( low and quiet and bracing. when he hears such a movement, he turns the lock with slow deliberate movements, opening the door just the same.

the xingchen that steps out the bathroom door, one hand lingering on the frame, is very much as he described. much too tall, for one - he seems to have gained something like six inches, all stemming from the fact that each heel is now significantly farther from the ball of his foot, creating the illusion of a brand new mid-leg joint. too many too-sharp teeth poke out from behind his lips, in place of the ones lost onto his living room floor. his hands do indeed have claws, and the thickness of palm that he described can also be found on the underside of his fingertips - paw pads, nearly unmistakable. his ears have shifted into long pointed ears covered in silken off-white fur, and such fur can be seen along the back of his shoulders and neck as well. the two longest tails poke out from below the hem of his robe, fluffier but a similar creme in color.

his careful and courteous effort to be free of blood, meanwhile, is entirely shattered by the blood-stained bandages wrapped around his upper face. both eyeholes are a deep read, with drips of it trickling faintly from underneath the cloth, smeared at the bottom where he wiped away what he thought was simply tears. )

Have you any ideas? ( it's carefully neutral now, because he can't entirely trust his voice to sound sturdy if he allows it even the slightest scrap of emotional affect at the moment. )

[ When Xiao Xingchen makes to open the door, Jiang Cheng picks himself up from the floor, standing up and placing himself near it but not too close, so as to hopefully avoid crowding him. He also crosses his hands behind his back, seemingly all prim and proper cultivator posture though he is in reality trying to hide his robotic hand.

Once the door opens and the daozhang revealed, all thoughts of hiding his own condition are completely forgotten. He is grateful for the man's blindness since he certainly isn't able to hide the horror and disgust showing on his face - disgust not at him, maybe, but rather at what the Fog God has reduced a respected cultivator to, yet he has no delusions that Xingchen would have made such fine distinctions. No, it is for the better he can't see how Jiang Cheng is looking at him now, even if he couldn't keep himself from audibly sucking in air.

His fingers twitch with the need to take his sleeve and wipe away the droplets of blood trailing down from the blood-soaked bandages but he just clenches his hands behind his back and remains where he is.

His weight shifts from one foot to the other. He licks his lips. Xiao Xingchen is trying to focus on the necessities and so should he. Even if... His hands! These teeth, how much it must have hurt when his jaw shifted to make room for these bulging teeth... A shudder runs through Jiang Cheng. ]

I... I'm not sure. [ His voice isn't even faux angry anymore, just small. ] Give me a moment.

( though he can't see jiang wanyin's face, there's an abrupt sort of tension that comes over the man at sight of what xingchen has become, and that in itself speaks volumes. luckily(?), it was the reaction he had expected when he made his decision to show himself, and it's one that he's braced to receive without any outward sign that he knows he's receiving it.

(if it's any consolation, the blood from beneath his bandages is already long since dried, not at risk of messying anything further.)

the sight of him is apparently bad enough to drain all practicality from jiang wanyin's demeanor, and for that reason more than anything xingchen says, ) I can return to the bathroom, if you'd prefer. ( this, at least, has a note of reassurance - a vocal indication that he isn't wounded by the concept, that he wouldn't take offense if such is the case. )

No! [ That barked command - the bark underlaid with something high-pitched and completely inhumane now - is accompanied by a far more familiar sharp glare and scowl. Too bad that Xingchen won't be able to see these. ] You're not going to hide yourself away in the bathroom again - I only just talked you out of there, and I don't have all day to play this game!

[ Fuelled by his own indignation, he finds the courage to take a step forward, looking at him again though his mind still wants to refuse the sight and its reality, that this is how things can end up even for a cultivator. It's wrong. It's so completely, deeply wrong... And there is not a thing Jiang Cheng can do about it. ]

( to his credit, even in troubling times such as these, xiao xingchen is one of the few people who does not flinch at being barked at by jiang wanyin. instead, he seems almost impassive for a long moment - in truth he's thoughtful, but also at a bit of a loss.

then he straightens just slightly with a decisive throat hum. ) Then I suppose I'll serve the tea. ( and with that, he steps past jiang wanyin - an oddity in itself, as his legs bend oddly now and each step takes too long, covers too much distance - and heads for the kitchen. as much as he would like such a feat to be smooth and confident, it only accomplishes the former, his steps slower and more careful, clawed fingertips lightly out to each side to find landmarks. too much of his sense of place, even in this familiar set of rooms, is dependent on his ability to sense how far he's moved with each step. it will take time to learn such a thing in his new form.

the shift from carpet to tile tells him when he's entered the kitchen, and with significant assistance from his heightened sense of smell and his giant unwieldy ears, he locates the teapot with no difficulty. another mug is claimed from the cupboard, and if jiang wanyin has any mercy left after he bullied xingchen from the bathroom, he won't comment on the awkward delicacy with which clawed padded hands tilt the teapot to pour some in each.

both mugs are brought to the dining table then, one set in front of the nearest chair and the other set halfway across the table for his guest. a clawed finger snags on something on the way back, and only as he quickly catches hold before it falls over does he realize it's.... another mug.

ah. his lips press together a bit, and he moves the mug aside to set it near the table edge that rests against the wall. ) Forgive me, I seem to have lost track of a bit more clutter than I realized.

[ Jiang Cheng may be rude and insensitive but unless people actually deserve such treatment, he doesn't set out to be intentionally cruel. What cruelty passes his lips is mostly a byproduct of his own irascible temperament and holds little weight. As such, he knows better than to comment on the struggle which moving is for Xiao Xingchen, let alone the painstaking - and painful to watch - ordeal that pouring two cups of tea has been turned into by his transformation.

It is painful to watch him like this, as painful as it is infuriating. He had always admired this daozhang his principled ways and here in Ryslig, he has come to admire him even more for how clever and resourceful he is at working around the limitations of his body. It hurts to see him reduced to fumbling.

But he stays silent, only quietly seething to himself at the indignity of all of it.

There is something deeply bizarre, too, about the way his friend is making tea in a blood-splattered kitchen with dried blood on his face and bloodied mugs everywhere, and there is still the bloody robe thrown over that chair, too...

He takes the bloody clothes and wads them up, putting them on a counter before he takes the chair. There is still dried blood clinging to the backrest, so he makes sure not to lean back.]

It doesn't matter. We can clean that up. [ The teeth, too. Somebody really needs to sweep up the teeth. ]

( while xingchen can't exactly say that he senses jiang wanyin's seething, he certainly perceives it regardless - he hears it in his breathing, feels it in the tension all but radiating from where the man now sits. xingchen isn't fool enough to think that his fetching the tea has somehow offended. jiang-xiong is angry on his behalf.

his nameless companion was often also angry on his behalf, anytime he was slighted at the market, anytime he pretended not to notice the beggar he just gave coin to then turned around to pick his pocket. it had warmed him, selfishly. he wonders now how many of them xue yang had gone back to threaten, murder even if given half the chance. xingchen was a fool to let it warm him as it did.

and yet he once again finds himself warmed by this seething on his behalf, like a fool. perhaps he'll always be a fool. at the very least, he knows that jiang-wanyin's fury is just - that it won't end in harm coming to those who don't deserve it.

at the very least, the words that come do well to dump cool water on that warmth, though he smiles a quiet appreciative smile regardless. with a shake of his head, ) A generous offer, but your company is quite enough. ( he won't be having jiang-xiong scrubbing his blood from the furniture. ) I should be able to tidy up well enough in the next day or so. I find that my senses are quite a bit sharper now, so finding that which is bloodied shouldn't be difficult.

[ At least there is that - Jiang Cheng's fury burns bright and hot, but the lash of the whip and the strike of his sword are reserved for those he believes to be deserving of it. The ones who have turned their back on righteousness, who have taken to harming others with their wicked tricks and unorthodox methods... or who do worse. Who have become something worse, or serve something worse.

Payback will come. In due time. If there is one thing the last 16 years have taught Jiang Cheng, it is some measure of patience.

He cradles the tea cup between both hands, enjoying the warmth more than anything else. ]

It doesn't matter to me. I'm not afraid of a little bit of blood. [ Or teeth. Let's not forget the teeth. Does Xiao Xingchen even know they are scattered everywhere? ] You wouldn't put any great hardships on me.

( to be entirely fair, xue yang also turned his blade on those he felt deserving. it's just that jiang wanyin's perspective of such things is far more in line with xingchen's own. more able to be trusted, even if the target were not one of the gods which rule this place.

as for the offer, he swallows his kneejerk refusal and takes a moment to consider, lifting the tea to his mouth to sip it despite the temperature. xingchen did assure obi-wan that he would ask for help if help is needed. he'd like to think he'd have the sense to do so regardless, but his word was given, and so he asks himself: does he need this help? )

I think, ( he says, slow and considering, ) that this is a task which I should undertake on my own. I think that completing it unaided might do me some manner of good. ( which is not, at least, an offhanded rejection just for the sake of refusing to impose.

a beat, and a sightless glance at where he's moved the abandoned mug. ) Though it would be of great value to me if you could help me assess the scope of the mess I've made. ( he straightens a bit, head tilting fractionally as he pulls together a mental picture of the place - a thing which he wasn't able to accomplish just a couple of hours ago, and yet now he can. thoughtfully again, ) The blood, I'm able to find. There's at least one more mug somewhere, I should find that well enough too - and the teeth, I know that those are somewhere in front of the bathroom door. I think I've just heard you move my garments aside, so I've found those as well. Is there anything else?

( aside from the mess on his very own face, that actually pretty much covers it. )

[ Jiang Cheng lets his gaze wander through the room once more, checking that there is nothing else which Xiao Xingchen won’t be able to make out by touch alone. No, that’s it, pretty much, which means… His eyes rest on the dried blood trails running down from his blood-soaked bandage and he scowls. Can’t avoid the measuring snake in the room any longer. ]

Your face [ he blurts out with his usual measure of tact and grace. He crosses his arms over his chest just to deal with his own discomfort and the scowl deepens. ] You need to change the bandage over your eyes and wash your face.

[ Vague, maybe, but he’s not going to humiliate the man further by expounding on the mess that he is. He is tactless, not purposefully cruel - not unless someone actually deserves his cruelty, anyway. ]

( his face? one hand lifts to rest fingertips on his own cheek (too low, it misses the blood), then lifts to the bandages. those, at least, do perhaps feel different than they should. )

Ah, forgive me, ( he says, mildly perplexed. ) I changed them just yesterday, I'm not sure how-... ( but that's when his fingertips skim across a slightly rougher bit at the crest of his cheek. rough with salt from when he wept, or so he had thought before, but why would it still feel like this?

though he stopped mid-word, his mouth closes, pressing to a line for a long moment. then, ) Thank you. I hadn't realized. You've likely just saved me quite a bit of embarrassment in the future. ( all while he's standing again now, making his smooth and steady way back toward the bathroom. it may occur to jiang wanyin, if he thinks about it, that this isn't a facet of the change. that xingchen's face and bandaging were similarly bloodied when he first encountered him in that museum.

xingchen doesn't bother to close the bathroom door this time, it should be quite quick. the bandage is removed and set aside (he'll deal with that later), and after the brief run of the faucet, his face is scrubbed somewhat thoroughly with a damp rag. when he re-emerges, both hands hover up behind his head, attempting to tie a simple knot with these clumsy clawed hands. it doesn't occur to him to ask for help, instead saying, ) There's that taken care of.

[ Jiang Cheng cringes a little as he watches Xiao Xingchen make the discovery for himself, as he watches the realization on his face... If he could, he would have spared him the embarrassment.

Yet all he can do is murmur his assent and patiently wait for him to return, trying to make as little fuss about it as possible. Even if his thoughts do wander, and wonder. As far as he knows, what lies beneath the bandage is the same as has been before, he had even been wearing bloodied bandages like this when they first met at the museum. This issue must be older than the monstrous transformation.

When he returns, all Jiang Cheng has for his acknowledgment of the situation is a bland, polite smile. ] Of course. [ And that's it, he is willing to leave it at that, no further questions even though he is burning with curiosity. ]

How have you been settling in? Before... this happened, anyway. I'm impressed you're still living in the city. I didn't last a week.

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daozhangs - 2020-09-14 08:11 (UTC) - Expand

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legbreakings - 2020-09-14 10:44 (UTC) - Expand

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, XIAO.XINGCHEN. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 018.07.154.55 * XIAO.XINGCHEN has joined 018.07.154.55 <XIAO.XINGCHEN> You have reached Xiao Xingchen. <XIAO.XINGCHEN>** I am often away from my laptop, but I will do my best to answer as soon as I'm able.