ic inbox, ryslig.

[daozhangs]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, XIAO.XINGCHEN. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 018.07.154.55 *** XIAO.XINGCHEN has joined 018.07.154.55 <XIAO.XINGCHEN> You have reached Xiao Xingchen. <XIAO.XINGCHEN> I am often away from my laptop, but I will do my best to answer as soon as I'm able.

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[daozhangs]

( in truth, xingchen is in much the same boat (regarding the 'i will be') on an emotional level - he was strictly answering in physical terms. he isn't injured. he's working through how it is that one handles being furious about having something forced upon you while simultaneously mourning the loss of it, but that's not what jiang wanyin asked.

after a minute, )

Have I anything to apologize for?

( some definite things were discussed (argued about, in a way that wasn't really arguing) that the better part of him wishes hadn't come out. xingchen faintly wonders if this is how most feel the day after they've had too much to drink - weighed down by the inevitable consequences of their questionable decisions.

with any luck, jiang wanyin will allow it to pass unaddressed, allow them to move on with their lives and their friendship as if xingchen hasn't made vividly (mortifyingly) clear how it is that he actually feels. but that's entirely up to jiang wanyin. xingchen doesn't get to decide such a thing for him. )

[legbreakings]

[ Ironically, the confession isn't even on Jiang Cheng's mind just yet, he is still reeling from the everything of having two very different lives in his head both of which feel so real (the fake one still feeling more real right now.) That will come once the screaming in his head has passed a little and he can think about specific details of the fake life rather than focusing on its existence as a whole.

But still.

That question jars him, has him pause. Frown. ]

No! Of course not.

[daozhangs]

( xingchen, meanwhile, finds that focusing on the smaller bits make wrapping his mind around the grand scheme of it slightly more palatable.

regardless, the answer is more of a relief than he'd like to admit. )

I'm glad.

( it's a fantastic understatement, but true nonetheless. )

Do you need anything? ( and while he meant it in more of a general sense, a moment later he thinks to ask, ) Blood?

[legbreakings]

Right. Blood. All our needs are back.

Not yet, fortunately. Probably soon. I don't want to think about it yet.

[ For a moment longer, he just wants to hide from reality, maybe. ]

[daozhangs]

( it’s quite understandable, jiang wanyin not yet wanting to think about it. xingchen didn’t afford himself quite that same luxury.

the offer for blood has thus been declined, and for a long moment, the simple response ‘Company?’ is on the top of his tongue.

but a sigh comes instead, and then - ) One can’t really blame you.

I’ll be here when you do.

[legbreakings]

It's not that I don't want your company.

I just don't want to think about the need for blood just yet.

These aren't the same.

[daozhangs]

Peace, my friend. I know that they aren’t.

I suppose I just find myself at a loss for what else I might offer.

[legbreakings]

I don't know. I don't have answers right now.

It is much to deal with.

[daozhangs]

It truly is.

( and, after long moment, )

My company isn’t particularly helpful or soothing at the moment.

( which is why he had tried to find some other reason to go. some other need he might meet to compensate. )

[legbreakings]

Don't say stupid things like that!

Your company is always pleasant to me.

[daozhangs]

( funny how the tables seem to have turned. wasn’t it jiang wanyin who once delivered the ‘no, you’re not listening, i’m truly unpleasant’ arguments? even if they they never worked on xingchen, just like it wouldn’t work on jiang wanyin here and now.

instead, )

I've decided to eat the next person who leverages the gods' powers to inflict upon us their opinion of what we need.

( which illustrates the dwindling quality of his company far better than any actual argument, really. )

[legbreakings]

[ Jiang Cheng gives a startled, amused bark of laughter. ]

That's a guaranteed way to get indigestion.

[daozhangs]

No more so than eating those who don't deserve it.

[legbreakings]

Well. Yes. I will give you that.

[daozhangs]

I'd thought you might.

[legbreakings]

I'm sorry. I'm not at my best right now.

Is your house alright? Did the garden survive your absence?

Is Runyu going to be alright?

[daozhangs]

There's no need to apologize. Neither am I.

The house is well, and the garden didn't survive the snow. I haven't planted it anew yet. You said that you'd assist me, don't you recall?

Runyu will be fine. This week has left us all with quite a bit to think about.

[legbreakings]

That it has. I suppose I will value it for the experiences. Once some time has passed.

[ Once he can value it for what he got to experience instead of only feeling the loss. ]

I will help you with the garden. By whatever measure of help I can provide. I can water the plants.

[daozhangs]

You'll be helping me put those plants in the dirt before you do. I'm not letting you off the hook quite so easily.

[legbreakings]

Fine fine! Bossing me around already before we have even started do you have no fear!

[daozhangs]

No more or less than I ever have.

[legbreakings]

Outragous!

[daozhangs]

Perhaps.

[legbreakings]

Now you're mocking me!

[daozhangs]

( unfortunately, he’s in no proper mood to fall into their usual bantering games. ) I simply agreed with you. You’ll have to forgive me if such a thing offends.