ic inbox, ryslig.

[daozhangs]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, XIAO.XINGCHEN. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 018.07.154.55 *** XIAO.XINGCHEN has joined 018.07.154.55 <XIAO.XINGCHEN> You have reached Xiao Xingchen. <XIAO.XINGCHEN> I am often away from my laptop, but I will do my best to answer as soon as I'm able.

Comments

[legbreakings]

That it has. I suppose I will value it for the experiences. Once some time has passed.

[ Once he can value it for what he got to experience instead of only feeling the loss. ]

I will help you with the garden. By whatever measure of help I can provide. I can water the plants.

[daozhangs]

You'll be helping me put those plants in the dirt before you do. I'm not letting you off the hook quite so easily.

[legbreakings]

Fine fine! Bossing me around already before we have even started do you have no fear!

[daozhangs]

No more or less than I ever have.

[legbreakings]

Outragous!

[daozhangs]

Perhaps.

[legbreakings]

Now you're mocking me!

[daozhangs]

( unfortunately, he’s in no proper mood to fall into their usual bantering games. ) I simply agreed with you. You’ll have to forgive me if such a thing offends.

[legbreakings]

Sorry. It's not the time for that.

I will gladly help with your garden.

[daozhangs]

I never doubted for a moment.

[legbreakings]

Good. Good. You shouldn't be given reason to doubt. I try to keep my promises, whenever possible.

[daozhangs]

( and he always has kept his promises. of the two of them, xingchen can quite honestly say that jiang wanyin has kept more of them, perhaps by virtue of offering fewer but such semantics are irrelevant. xingchen has never been given reason to doubt him. reason to doubt himself, perhaps, but never jiang wanyin.

which makes all of this feel a bit silly, really. dancing around the true question at hand here. after a pause in which he doubles back, )

Forgive me, but I've listened back and I can't quite tell if you've invited me over or simply complimented my company.

[legbreakings]

[ It would be easy to put an end to the conversation there but Jiang Cheng finds he doesn't want to so... ]

Whichever you would like it to be.

[daozhangs]

I don't get to decide if it was an invitation. Only whether or not I accept if it is.

[legbreakings]

Fine. Be like that.

It was an invitation.

[daozhangs]

Was that truly so terrible? I accept. I’ll be there shortly.

[legbreakings]

How gracious of you.

[ Cue eyeroll. ]

[daozhangs]

( sorry, he can't hear you over the sound of running through the entirety of a forest to lotus pier's front gates (as one does).

by now in their friendship, he wastes no time in slipping inside, heading to the typical bloodletting room and shifting back to human form where he can dress in privacy. from there he makes his way to the sect leader's quarters, then follows the fresh scent from there to one of the many lakeside piers.

quiet unobtrusive steps carry him up beside jiang wanyin, and he casts his attention off over the lake as if he, too, can see it. for now, he doesn't speak. he doesn't feel any particular need for compulsory greetings, less so now (under the weight of the last week) than ever. the companionable(?) silence is more than sufficient, for the moment. )

[legbreakings]

[ Jiang Cheng had been staring out onto the lake, trying to find the familiar lakes and rivers of Yunmeng where he could only see the landscape of Ryslig and Kulen on the far shore of the lake - a sight that to a part of his heart felt more familiar and real than the actual home he had grown up in. He remembered enough now of his real life and his real self to feel guilty for these traitorous thoughts.

He turns towards Xiao Xingchen when he picks up the unobtrusive steps, giving him a small nod and an even smaller smile. ]

You got here fast. Are you well?

[daozhangs]

No. ( a single word carried on a resigned exhale. after a moment, he abandons the facade of gazing out over the lake, lifting his face to the sun a bit. ) But that's alright. ( he doesn't know how one could be expected to be alright, after the week's events - and either they've finally moved past pretending to be alright between the two of them or xingchen himself has. he can't quite tell which, at the moment. )

[legbreakings]

[ There is a belated jarring moment when it sinks in that this Xiao Xingchen wears a blindfold over his eyes, that he is blind beneath, that he will remain oblivious to the comfort offering by the smile and nod. That this greeting would have been something typical of their interactions in their other life.

He turns his eyes back to the lake and scowls, hands clenching into fists at his sides. ]

I don't think anybody can be okay just yet. [ It's close enough to admitting that he isn't okay either. ]

[daozhangs]

( xingchen hums a quiet agreement, not quite so inclined toward his usual reassurances. jiang wanyin will have to forgive him his quiet this once. in truth, he was quite a bit more tense before he made his way to lotus pier, but the brisk run here and now the presence of his friend have soothed the simmering tension to a raw sort of ache dulled with more fatigue than he should reasonably feel.

he draws a slow, deep breath, basking a moment longer in the warmth of the sun before turning his 'gaze' on the man beside him. )

Would you like to sit? ( here on the dock, since he assumes that's where jiang wanyin would prefer to be. ) Unless you'd prefer to move indoors?

[legbreakings]

I don't want to move indoors just yet [ Jiang Cheng says after a moment's deliberation. But standing around here is poor hospitability, so he starts to move towards one of the pavilions located by the docks. Here in Ryslig, the pavilion isn't draped with fluttering curtains as it is at home where the pavilions are properly in use. Here, it is just a drab, empty wooden building, but one which provides seating which puts it one step above standing at the docks. ]

This still isn't the hospitability I would have offered you at home but it's the best I can do. I'm trying to remember what my Lotus Pier at home looks like. [ But when he thinks of Lotus Pier, of home, his head is still crowded with memories of the house in Vandare where he and a Wei Wuxian who is actually a stranger to him had grown up together. ]

[daozhangs]

( though he doesn't want to move indoors, jiang wanyin does seem to want to move somewhere - he departs without any preamble, and xingchen moves to quietly follow.

he's led to an area he hasn't yet visited, one which (by the scent of it) sees very little use. it's a raised sort of spot with a ceiling at the very least, but the breeze catching xingchen's hair suggests that most of the walls are still open to the lakefront, if it has any walls at all.

for now, xingchen hovers just inside the area, waiting for any cue on where to proceed from here - on whether they're to stand in this new place instead, or to sit somewhere (if his friend seems to sit, xingchen does the same, occupying the adjacent seat). regardless of whether they sit or stand, though, he listens to the half-apology, the quiet confession which follows. and as much as xingchen would like to think he has things sorted well enough in his own mind, the two lives seem to blur a bit more than he realizes - before he can think to stop himself, he reaches out to set light fingertips on the back of jiang wanyin's hand. ) Give yourself time, ( he says, his tone a bit closer to the expected steadfast assurance than before, though he can't quite shake the note of emotional fatigue. ) Whether or not it was real, your memories claim that you lived this other life for just as long as you've lived your own. That's something you'll be sorting through for quite a few days yet, at the very least.

( which, he recognizes, could be the opposite of reassuring - at least until he clarifies his point. ) Your Lotus Pier will return to you. Forcing the matter now only stands to frustrate you. ( here xingchen allows a few moments to pass, a pause to let his words sink in. then he finally caves to the quiet but persistent 'this isn't how things are, in this life' nagging at the back of his mind and reluctantly retracts his fingertips, folding one hand around the other in his lap. )

[legbreakings]

[ He looks down at the fingers pulling away, his frown deepening a little more at the sight and the pang of disappointment that follows it. There are things that need to be discussed. Things... But not right now. Not when he barely even knows who he is. ]

I know it will return. But I hate the uncertainty. I don't like being in a place that should be familiar and comforting and instead... [ He cuts himself off, jaw clenched tight. Instead of yearning to go home to a place and a life that doesn't exist anymore, at least not for him. Maybe there is some other, more fortunate Jiang Cheng out there whom this life belongs to but it isn't this one. For him, there is only this pale imitation of another Lotus Pier, empty and lifeless, a monument to how utterly cut off from his sect he is here in this place.

He heaves a heavy sigh and shakes his head, irritated with himself and his own glum mood. ] I warned you that I wouldn't be good company.